Your chat for February 2024

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Topic:General Discussions

Thread closing on 29 February, 2024

ParentData

2 years ago

Your chat for February 2024

Welcome to our monthly discussion forum. This is a place to come together and share your thoughts on the most recent ParentData articles, general topics, and more. Remember to be respectful and kind. For any question reach out to us—ask@parentdata.org.

Thanks for being here!

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  • The topic ‘Your chat for February 2024’ is closed to new replies.
  • chelseam

    2 years, 2 months ago

    I really enjoy Erica Chidi’s content! Thanks for including her in ParentData.

    0 comments
  • vm

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Friendly feedback: one of the things I loved about ParentData was the thoughtful community comments and that seems to be mostly gone. I sorely miss the old ability to comment directly on a post, vs this new format of topics for the month jumbled together. It was also difficult for me to even leave this comment – when I click to leave a comment from my email I’m somehow not signed in, then once I finally get the login email and sign in, the browser version doesn’t have a link to comment from the post itself and I had to seek out this discussion forum. I hope this comes across as friendly and helpful; I really love the content shared and would love to talk about it with others.

    7 comments
    • amy1z

      2 years, 2 months ago

      1000% agree. One of the things I appreciated most, the comments, the call to weigh in on newsletters and provide advice to one another, totally gone. I also really miss having an app to navigate. I can see a lot of work was put into the website but it’s not as user friendly 🙁

      0 comments
    • LjLl

      2 years, 2 months ago

      Agree. I also sorely miss the ability to comment on a specific post.

      0 comments
    • Annie M

      2 years, 2 months ago

      Upvote for this. Plus I scrambled to make sure my email wasn’t somehow my username. That wasn’t intuitive at all – it all looks grey and uneditable (I know the button is at the bottom but I had to scroll), and I wasn’t sure if it was just going to pick up my first and last name automatically (it didn’t, one of my comments here somewhere shows my email 🙁 ). Also, this pale yellow doesn’t sit well with my dark mode in the email – none of the graphics stand out. The earlier crisp white and blue was just fine.

      0 comments
    • Jo

      2 years, 2 months ago

      Another upvote. The great comment threads were a huge reason I used to love reading ParentData. I also appreciate the ability to keep most of my newsletter reading separate from email, which Substack does brilliantly. Now I end of deleting most of the ParentData newsletters without reading. Going to a separate site is too annoying- it just means I’ll replace this reading with something readily available in Substack. Please bring back the old threads!

      1 comments
      • kate9

        2 years, 2 months ago

        Agree. I used to read every article when it was in my Substack inbox. Now, I come here every so often and click on a couple articles maybe.

        0 comments
    • 2 years, 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Totally agree. It feels like the community comments element is totally gone now (even if it’s not really).

      0 comments
    • Denisse

      2 years, 2 months ago

      Hi VM & everyone! We appreciate you taking the time to share your feedback with us. I will pass this along to our team.

      Thank you for being here!

      0 comments
    • R

      2 years, 1 month ago

      Agree, I really miss the comments for individual posts. It was much better for in-depth discussion. I didn’t post much, but I liked to read them, and it’s very hard to find the parts that interest me when the whole month is one conversation.

      0 comments
  • Julia

    2 years, 2 months ago

    More friendly feedback about the new website:
    I appreciate that some people might want a weekly recap email but I am not one of them. I don’t see the need for a email about emails I already read. A way to opt out of that would be nice.
    That being said, I would like separate emails with the text of the podcasts. I know some people can do podcasts, but my 2 year old always vetoes a podcast about sex after babies in favor of wheels on the bus. But I would still appreciate having the information accessible/ even knowing that it’s happening

    3 comments
    • 2 years, 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Agree — do not need a recap.

      0 comments
    • Anxiousmom

      2 years, 2 months ago

      Yes text of podcasts please

      0 comments
    • Pterodactyl111

      2 years, 1 month ago

      Agree the recaps are unnecessary, if I wanted to know what was in Hot Flash I would subscribe to it. But I don’t, so I don’t.

      0 comments
  • 2 years, 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Another newsletter I’d love to see: something on fertility and the world of IVF and ART and just forms of family building that aren’t based solely on heterosexual sex.

    0 comments
  • Karen H.

    2 years, 2 months ago

    With regards to today’s (2/5/24) post on parenting adolescents, as usual Professor Oster offers carefully considered suggestions and thoughts. My family is grown, and it all resonated! One additional good book I would like to put forth is Dr. Frances Jensen’s “The Teenage Brain”. It helped me and I was told it helped a lot of other parents (I gifted the book to many others when they would share their experiences parenting teens). In short, when you can place typical teenaged shenanigans into developmental context, it makes them slightly less vexing. And her advice to “never say no” – because that abruptly ends all future communication about an event or purchase that your teen is considering – was life changing! You can, of course, say “no”, but you only want to do that AFTER a boatload of fact-finding (“…where is the party? How will you get there? What time do you think you might be home? What are you going to wear?) AFTER you have all sorts of invaluable data, then (and only then) you can let your teen know why you don’t necessarily think it’s a good idea. And they may well ignore you and go/ buy it anyways. BUT, when things go south, as they often do, you’ll be the person your teen recalls as someone who who was willing to have a conversation with them, and share your (based on life experience) concerns. Good luck out there! The teenage years are a real challenge. All stages of youth can be described as a period when “ambitions outstrip abilities”, but perhaps none more than the high school years. Toddlers can’t drive. Third graders have no interest in intimacy. Middle school students can’t get jobs two towns over…

    0 comments
  • AHinMN

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Just came here to say that the podcast on mattering has resonated more than anything I’ve consumed thus far as a parent. I think I will be forever grateful you shared that with us. My husband and I, for different reasons, don’t have great feelings about our childhoods and we are trying so hard to ensure our children have different experiences. We were both moved by the podcast because while our experiences are very different, we each felt we weren’t treated as though we mattered. I think our parents would disagree, but I rarely if ever felt that my contributions to the household or my future were ever valued. The actionable examples mentioned have given us the tools to create a supportive and loving environment, especially as our kids get older.

    1 comments
    • Lana

      2 years, 2 months ago

      Yes, completely agree! After listening to the podcast I bought the book and then made my husband read it too. I knew I wanted to raise my daughter differently from how I was raised (so much pressure to succeed – mostly from the extremely competitive magnet school I was attending, but also internal pressure). I knew I mattered to my mom, but being a single parent, she wasn’t around much when I needed her. In spite of this, I found myself planning and getting sucked into researching the best schools, and she’s only 2.5! This book snapped me out of it and made me reflect on my own path and those of my classmates. I can’t tell you the number of classmates I knew who went to UC Berkeley, Harvard, Georgetown, etc. and still had no idea what to do with their lives after. All this competition and achievement culture destroyed our natural curiosity and drive and eventually caused burn out.

      The magnet school certainly prepared us for college (all my classes at university were easy compared to high school), but I had no idea what to do after. I ended up enlisting in the military after undergrad (to the chagrin of my mom). That was the first time that I felt a sense of purpose beyond myself and my own achievements. Instead of what I was used to in high school and college and constantly competing with my classmates, we needed to work together to help each other succeed. This experience profoundly changed my perspective in life, but I still find myself struggling to care less about status.

      I loved the story about the boy with dyslexia who forged his own path. There’s not one path to success and happiness in life, and it certainly doesn’t have to include an Ivy League education (and ironically it’s these sorts of experiences that help kids get into their choice colleges).

      In short, it was an excellent book and I’ve really taken it to heart. Because of it, I’ve decided on a different school for my daughter, and will make giving back to the community a focal point.

      0 comments
  • Mel B

    2 years, 2 months ago

    I stopped traveling for work when my kids hit the teen years. Leaving then when they were infants and little kids broke my heart (and also gave me wonderful alone time, TBH), but they didn’t need me at home 24/7, and their spending time with my spouse and other caregivers was beneficial, too. But as teens they NEED you there. YOU, not someone else. Present, even if 99% of the time, it’s in the background.

    0 comments
  • Amy

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Hi Gillian! Ever since I (and my mom actually) entered my late reproductive stage, I want to go to sleep every time the barometric pressure drops. Have you heard of this before? Why might this happen hormonally?

    0 comments
  • Outside Providence

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Yesterday I spent 15 minutes wailing in the shower after my husband left to do the daycare drop off. There were no tears, but guttural sounds as I threw myself a bathtub pity party. Three months of irregular periods, pajama-drenched nightshirts, and don’t-talk-to-me-about-my-irritability irritability… could I really be entering peri-menopause 18 months postpartum at 40? I had spent 7 months doing IVF, had a challenging pregnancy, and have struggled postpartum while returning to my job in academia, and now this. While recognizing all of my privilege, I still need to say, being a woman is so hard. Thank you to the universe for dropping Gillian Goddard’s Hot Flashes into my inbox… I’ve forwarded it to my husband and my OBG appointment next week!

    0 comments
  • Courtneyk

    2 years, 2 months ago

    This is an incredibly informative article! Thank you so much for sharing your insight. As an AA woman in my late 30s it’s helpful to know the signs of late-reproductive stage and pre-menopause stage and what to do when those changes start to occur. I’d be curious to learn more about these hormonal changes and conception (both naturally and via IVF) as more women continue to have babies later in life. Thank you to the whole team for your work! More of this content please 🙂

    0 comments
  • Kristen

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Regarding Gillian’s first newsletter: I am 40 and on hormonal birth control but skipping the placebos to avoid having my period (don’t need it for actual birth control due to husband’s vasectomy). This is very convenient especially since I wear a pessary for prolapse, but I worry sometimes about what other information I am missing by not having my period. This newsletter ended by saying that hormonal birth control can help with some symptoms in one’s 40s but I am curious for any information about taking it continuously and also what I am missing by not getting the information I’d get if I wasn’t on hormonal birth control. Thanks.

    0 comments
  • maddydb

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Really appreciated Gillian Goddard’s article “Is This Perimenopause?” I’m 34 and have already noticed some of the changes she outlines as part of late stage reproductive years and it helped me worry less! I so appreciate having the information. It’s wild how little I and many of my friends actually know about our own bodies despite being so well educated and curious people.

    0 comments
  • Meg

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Regarding the toothbrushing, if it is at all helpful there’s an Elmo toothbrushing song that is pretty catchy and cute. To go along with Emily’s suggestion about YouTube, perhaps they’d enjoy watching that music video!https://fb.watch/q4DntJgeUK/

    0 comments
  • PolicyResearcher

    2 years, 2 months ago

    To Bundled up: I know Emily mentioned the HEPA filter, but I want to re-up that suggestion. We got smaller air purifiers from Home Depot (also sell them at Costco) for each kid’s room and now a larger one for our basement that indicates the air quality while it operates. My younger kid (now 1.5) used to have constant stuffy noses, and they’ve been MUCH better since we put in the air filter. (It also helps with stinky diaper smell.) The one in the basement has refreshed the air from the cat box and general basement musk – and we now hang out in the basement much more. I’d imagine something similar might save your fireplace. Good luck!

    0 comments
  • Amanda

    2 years, 2 months ago

    When we were weaning our kid off the bottle (way past 14mo) we started watering the milk down gradually so it became less satisfying. He mainly used it as a pacifier at bedtime, not ingesting very much. Over time he did forget about it.

    We feed our kids dairy but I’m not sure it’s true that they have to have it. Vegan kids and kids with dairy allergies do OK with alternate nutrient sources as far as I know.

    0 comments
  • Jen. Nery

    2 years, 2 months ago

    RE: sticky film left by estrogen patches, a friend who has been on them longer than I advised me to cover the patch with a paper tape. It prevents the edges of the patch getting gummy, and the whole thing comes off cleanly, with no residue.

    0 comments
  • Thea

    2 years, 2 months ago

    I enjoyed the article on pre-natal supplements and which are most critical. For those supplements, I’d love to understand how important it is to take them perfectly every day or if say 2-3 days a week is fine?

    0 comments
  • access@mattered.com

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Regarding prenatal vitamins – you mention vitamin A as a component but the WHO explicitly recommend that pregnant women NOT take vitamin A supplements except if specifically indicated because too much vitamin A can be harmful to foetal development. This is also something to flag in relation to fish oil supplements since one of the most commonly available – cod liver oil – is extremely high in vitamin A.

    0 comments
  • DataDadda

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Regarding prenatal vitamins. My wife continues to take prenatals after giving birth 4 months ago. She doesn’t have a vitamin deficiency. Is taking prenatal vitamins post-pregnancy recommended? If so, how is this different than taking a normal multivitamin?

    0 comments
  • Rachel Hartmum

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Thank you for the article on Prenatal vitamins and the larger supplement discussion. It seems like a regular vitamin (not specifically labeled ‘prenatal’) would suffice (with another DHA supplement if one wanted to add that. Is this correct? My Kirkland multi has all the specific nutrients you call out.

    Similarly, I try to eat pretty healthy and wonder what the food equivalent of folate/folic acid would be. If I eat a spinach salad, with the daily recommendation of folate, do I need my vitamin that day? Thanks!

    0 comments
  • 2 years, 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Question: my women’s daily multivitamin seems to contain all of the same vitamins that a prenatal vitamin does. So is there any difference?

    1 comments
    • Jess Dent

      2 years, 2 months ago

      When I compared regular multi day to prenatal when deciding which to take I found that the levels of some of the components were different so that might be something to check especially for the folic acid.

      0 comments
  • ELD2024

    2 years, 2 months ago

    The post on prenatal vitamins definitely confirms what I suspected was true. The only thing I looked for was the USP labeling. It’s a small clue that the quality of the vitamin might be better than other brands. There’s at least some laboratory testing and standards in place. I don’t have time to research the fancier brands to investigate their manufacturing standards, so USP is a quick shortcut. Unless somebody knows something about USP that I don’t know…?

    Also, slightly annoying that I press “add a comment” at the very bottom of all the posts, but I still have to manually scroll all the way back up to find the comment box.

    0 comments
  • kudzia.megan

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Re: prenatal vitamins, this is absolutely anecdotal as far as I know, BUT. I have struggled in all my pregnancies with horrendous restless leg/restless everything that most of the usual recommendations have not helped. However, I have since heard that both iron and magnesium deficiencies can contribute to it and/or to muscle spasms. I am anemic during this pregnancy and I am currently supplementing both with iron and magnesium and it really helps – like, I can actually sleep many more nights than in my first pregnancy! I think there may be some studies that support iron and magnesium for muscle cramps, but I am not sure. I just wanted to mention it in case anyone else out there is suffering and it helps, since as noted in the post, it is unlikely to hurt (although as always, checking with one’s provider is a good idea).

    0 comments
  • access@mattered.com

    2 years, 2 months ago

    On the vitamins post:

    I have done loads of amateur reading on the vitamin topic and have convinced myself that some of the things you dismiss are important. I’m not saying I disagree with you (I again will emphasize I’m an amateur reading studies and summaries of studies, not going super in depth, though do have a strong biology / chemistry and statistics background). But I was frustrated with this post and the last vitamin post on how dismissive you are of others without really explaining your rationale. I am not someone who is good at just accepting “Emily Oster says” or anyone else says – I need to be convinced and I would guess this is true for the vast majority of your readership. Just waving your hands and saying “other vitamins aren’t important”… well it just provides zero value to me. What’s even the point of writing that sentence or this post in general? I can’t even dispute your points (there was much discussion and back in forth on some of your other vitamin posts that I learned from and found just as valuable as the post itself). This reads like a WebMD summary page on the topic.

    This leads me to a broader point which is that I feel you’re overfocusing on building a platform and having frequent content to the point that I just increasing feel the actual content is not valuable. I used to read all of your posts and now have trickled down to reading only a few such as this one that pique my interest and then feeling disappointed that I just wasted my time.

    2 comments
    • kate9

      2 years, 2 months ago

      Haha, this was my specific complaint, ‘Parent Data just seems like WebMD now.’ The articles are so short and blurby AND they feel very recycled. Like, breast milk storage again?

      0 comments
    • Mafritzsche

      2 years, 1 month ago

      Do you read the Vajenda? Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN, writes well-researched pieces on women’s health topics. She recently had this very interesting one about prenatal vitamins: https://vajenda.substack.com/p/whats-in-your-prenatal-vitamin
      It was, frankly, disturbing, as there appears to a major lack of oversight, and I was surprised to not see Emily Oster touch upon what Dr. Jen discussed in detail.

      0 comments
  • lshultz218

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Comment regarding the prenatal vitamin post. The post focuses on cost and quality but doesn’t hit on ‘type’ of vitamin — aka gel cap vs capsule vs gummy. Are we to assume there is also no difference in effectiveness between those? I have an aversion to capsules for some reason and gummies have been the only kind I can stomach during TTC, pregnancy and now post partum (which my OB and pediatrician have told me to keep taking); but the gummy version is heavily scrutinized online. Any data here? Thank you as always!

    2 comments
    • Jess Dent

      2 years, 2 months ago

      I second this question! Gummie vitamins have been the only way I’ll consistently take them.

      0 comments
    • Rachel/Stephen

      2 years, 2 months ago

      My understanding is the gummies cannot contain iron but otherwise aren’t different from capsules. As long as you aren’t iron deficient you should be fine.

      0 comments
  • access@mattered.com

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Would be interested in knowing whether this guidance changes for those with infertility. My reproductive endocrinologist recommended an expensive prenatal with CoQ10 (theralogix).

    Separately, the appeal of “designer” vitamins, like Ritual, for me, is the purported quality control. I generally stray away from supplements due to their lack of regulation, containing higher or lower doses than advertised, and inclusion of other, potentially harmful substances. Are these concerns founded?

    1 comments
    • Rachel/Stephen

      2 years, 2 months ago

      I was also recommended coq10 while trying to conceive but was told to stop as soon as I was pregnant – maybe worth asking? I just added a supplement of coq10 so it was cheaper.

      0 comments
  • Amanda

    2 years, 2 months ago

    On the vitamin issue, you likely do not need to supplement with folic acid later than the end of the first trimester. By then the defect either exists or not. It doesn’t form later.

    If you want DHA supplementation but are vegetarian, there are pills from the algae that the fish eat, that apparently can work to supplement as well.

    0 comments
  • Kate

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Is there an amount of DHA that is too much and could be harmful during pregnancy and breastfeeding? My eye doctor recommended I take 3,000mg of omega-3 daily. That seems like a very high amount compared to the 250mg that is in my prenatal vitamin.

    0 comments
  • Rachel/Stephen

    2 years, 2 months ago

    The folate vs folic acid debate seems to be pretty contentious. I found this article slightly helpful but still didn’t get me all the way there. Everyone says there is some evidence that some people can’t digest folic acid but I can’t seem to find it from a reputable source and the CDC doesn’t agree with this comment. It would be helpful to understand this better.

    0 comments
  • R L

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Re: Prenatal vitamins. I recently learned that biotin, which is commonly found in prenatals, including the NatureMade ones I am taking, can cause thyroid test results to be inaccurate. My understanding is that it does not affect thyroid function; just the tests of thyroid function.

    I learned this after I had an abnormal thyroid test in my annual physical, which then resulted in a few mildly stressful weeks while waiting on a retest, which came out normal after temporarily stopping my prenatals.

    1 comments
    • Jo

      2 years, 2 months ago

      This is really intriguing. I was put on thyroid medication during my last pregnancy despite not having symptoms other than fatigue (a toddler and newborn will do that to you), and have been curious if the testing could have been off, because I honestly think the medication did absolutely nothing (unsurprisingly my exhausting improved once my baby was sleeping through the night; still no other symptoms), and I don’t like being medicated needlessly. It never occurred to me that prenatals could have had any effect on the testing.

      0 comments
  • Burgh NP

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks for this about vitamins! To clarify, if you are planning more pregnancies, shouldn’t you continue to supplement Folic Acid after birth to keep the stores high for next time?

    0 comments
  • ashleywowo

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Does this research relate to breastfeeding and prenatal vitamins?

    0 comments
  • Emily S

    2 years, 2 months ago

    I’m catching up on the ParentData podcast and I wanted to say thank you for the episode “Staying Active, Starting Again.” I just returned to running after having my baby 6 months ago, and I’ve been having regular dizzy spells. I thought I’d been nourishing myself, but only after listening to that episode did it occur to me that I could be underfueling. I’ll admit that I feel a bit blindsided — I didn’t think I’d have to relearn everything about my body, including how to eat, but here we are. At least I know now that I’m not alone!

    0 comments
  • DanglyRaccoon

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Great article Emily!

    You used the example of a reduction in earnings of ~1%, which is $280 on a $45k income. I’d be curious to break up the earnings reduction by income bracket, to see if the reduction in earnings tends to affect certain income brackets more than others (obviously higher incomes have greater room for disparity).

    Also, it’d be nice to see what the confidence interval is on that 1% estimate.

    Thanks for a great post.

    0 comments
  • RLpedsmd

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Regarding the Feb 20 post on younger siblings and worse long-term outcomes related to illness early in life, it seems to me that the most plausible explanation for these findings is “vulnerable child syndrome” rather than illness itself. This is a common phenomenon where parents of a child who requires hospitalization view their child as “vulnerable,” even if the illness fully resolves and has no long term consequences. These parents are more likely to take their kids to the doctor for minor illness or injury and generally parent them in a more cautious way. I wonder if this could account for the findings in the article, at least somewhat. -a pediatrician mom

    0 comments
  • LauraL

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Per the young siblings being worse off article- SO curious about if there’s a plan to do follow up study on younger sibs born in the “depths” of the pandemic when most folks were in lockdown and older sibs were in distance learning or otherwise at home. Would be so curious if removing many of the risk factors for disease in early infancy impact those long term outcomes that have causal claim.

    0 comments
  • access@mattered.com

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Another request that comments on particular articles be reinstated; the discussions on various topics formed a significant value add to my subscription and the current format of “comment dump section just to give people somewhere to vent” is making me question continuing.

    Regarding today’s post about second children having slightly lower earning potential/higher mental health struggles: it struck me as I took Sudafed for my fourth virus in two months that, even with the randomizing attempts, it’s possible that parents with two small children, in winter, getting sick themselves at higher rates, have fewer resources of time and energy to spend on engagement with their little babies that account for disparate outcomes later. Did any of the study variables account for that, or is it assumed that illness’ impacts on parents/parenting don’t matter much?

    0 comments
  • Kristen

    2 years, 1 month ago

    I’m not really clear how this works — are all the comments from different articles dumped together here?

    I wanted to ask a follow up question on the article about younger siblings. Wouldn’t a relatively easy action item for people looking to have kids be to try to time their baby births to avoid winter? I heard a friend get this advice from their OB for exactly the reasons in the article (older kid who could make new baby sick particularly during flu season).

    0 comments
  • Amanda

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Re:younger sibling illness, do the authors control for the fact that a larger age gap not only makes younger kids less vulnerable to illness, but also on average probably means they get more parental attention? Parenting a baby with a toddler is super different than parenting a baby with a 5 year old. Not to mention greater attention through the teen years. Why do we think that wouldn’t be driving these results?

    1 comments
    • access@mattered.com

      2 years, 1 month ago

      This was my exact thought, too! Really wish the comments sections were still attached to specific articles; I found them to be so helpful when digging deeper like this.

      0 comments
  • Amanda

    2 years, 1 month ago

    I always think of germs as a great thing for babies (unless it’s a fever before 3mo). Hygiene hypothesis! With our kids I don’t know how you could have isolated older sibling vs daycare as the source, as our younger started at 3mo. Do siblings start child care at a similar age, on average? Siblings AND daycare friends are petri dishes. Also parents are even more tired and run down and apt to catch germs themselves and pass them on. I’m still wondering about the causality here.

    0 comments
  • access@mattered.com

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Just read the question and response sent out today on counting kicks from a hospital bed after kick counting literally saved my baby’s life. I think this is a recirculation and is really disappointing. There has been a lot of recent research on kick counting as one of the few science supported interventions to prevent still birth. I’m a big fan of Emily Oster’s work but this article really reduces my trust, especially since n anticipation of a new book about pregnancy with complications. I really hope the new book doesn’t dismiss this intervention without a proper review of the literature.

    0 comments
  • Amanda

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Question: Do we have any idea how many kids get flu shots at annual visits, vs elsewhere, vs not at all?

    Our ped was spectacularly unhelpful with flu shots. We could only get them during the school day at specific times in very badly timed flu clinics. No thanks. But we always get them. Plenty of kids don’t even have peds, or don’t visit the month of their bday (we are often unable to schedule within months of the bday nowadays.)

    0 comments
  • ShelbyK

    2 years, 1 month ago

    From the fertility newsletter, the following is not quite correct:

    While it is possible, it is very rare to have regular periods and not be ovulating, so many people with regular periods don’t need to do any specific testing to make sure. From here, estimating the day of ovulation involves some quick math; no matter how long your menstrual cycle is, the second half (after ovulation) is about 14 days. So you can subtract 14 from the day that you anticipate your period to get a rough idea of when ovulation will occur.

    What is correct is that no matter the time it takes to ovulate, your second half of the cycle is usually the same number of days from cycle to cycle. However, that number is not necessarily 14 for many people! This is called the luteal phase and short luteal phases can be a big reason why people don’t get pregnant, either because they are incorrectly assuming when their ovulation window happened or because their short luteal phase is not long enough to support an early pregnancy. Working backwards 14 days may be a recipe for missing peak ovulation–kind of disappointing to see it recommended in this newsletter.

    1 comments
    • access@mattered.com

      2 years, 1 month ago

      Likewise, fertile-quality (eggwhite) cervical fluid is, if not strictly essential for getting pregnant, very contributory. Much HBC works partly by thickening/drying up that cervical fluid, inhibiting sperm motility.

      So when going off HBC and slowly getting one’s own progesterone and estrogen back after their suppression, it’s common to have a short or insufficient luteal phase (due to low progesterone) and little or no fertile-quality cervical fluid (due to low estrogen). Or, even when no recent history of HBC is involved, breastfeeding or perimenopause can also affect those hormone levels and the resulting fertility signs.

      In short, paying attention to cervical fluid consistency and timing, and to luteal phase length (ovulation to next period), are both some of the lowest-hanging fruits when it comes to troubleshooting infertility. I would have expected to read that in an article about maximizing the chances of pregnancy.

      The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the most popular and practical guide for achieving or preventing pregnancy, and it goes into detail about all of this science.

      1 comments
      • Jo

        2 years, 1 month ago

        Yes. It was odd that this post did not link back to ParentData’s previous post that touched on FAM (though I think that was in the context of preventing pregnancy vs. trying to conceive). There are much better resources on observing fertility symptoms than the Planned Parenthood link that was included in this one. TCOYF should be first on the list.

        Also, posts like today’s (from Gillian Goddard on preventing pregnancy indefinitely) need to be more inclusive of FAM options as well. There is a small but growing population of women who have turned away from hormonal/surgical contraception in recent years, including the time after their childbearing is done. If it’s because there is less data on these methods, perhaps ParentData can at least highlight the research gap.

        1 comments
      • Lindsay M

        2 years, 1 month ago

        Came here to say the same thing about FAM. I’m 38, done having kids, and have been using FAM as contraception successfully for the last 3 years. Every other available contraceptive has significant downsides for me, and I’m at a point in my life where an accidental pregnancy wouldn’t be catastrophic, so the method makes a lot of sense to me. I’m sure there are others in my position, especially among ParentData readers, many of whom became well practiced in FAM when they were trying to conceive.

        0 comments
  • jennielowellMD

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Thank you for this great review. As an obgyn I have one comment regarding telling women to stop their birth control for 3-6months before conception. I don’t think this is always medically wise and certainly not always medically necessary. For instance, for women with polycystic ovary syndrome, I tell them to stay on their oral contraceptive pills up until the second they are ready to conceive. We know that women with PCOS, because of changes in sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) production that positively effects their hormones, often have a ‘honeymoon’ phase of 3-4 months after coming off the pill where they are most likely to spontaneously ovulate and conceive. After this ‘honeymoon’ phase is over and SHBG goes back to normal, they will likely go back to irregular ovulation and cycles. Not to mention, if women are having very irregular cycles where they aren’t regularly ovulating and shedding their lining, this can lead to endometrial hyperplasia ( a precursor to endometrial cancer). Staying on your birth control until you are ready to conceive protects from endometrial cancer and may lead to better chances of getting pregnant in the few months you come off of it.

    In addition, for my women with terribly painful menses, due to endometriosis or other, I want them to be pain free as long as possible- don’t come off your birth control that is working to keep you pain free and free of heavy bleeding (which can lead to anemia), until you are ready to get pregnant! If your birth control is suppressing endometriosis, this is a good thing! Don’t come off of a med that is suppressing your endometriosis until you want to get pregnant.

    Also, many women want to enjoy life (ie hot tubs, alcohol, saunas, travel, attending big life events, etc) without worrying about exposing a potential fetus to these things. Stay on your birth control until you are ready to conceive to not worry about becoming pregnant before you are ready.

    With all pills, IUDs, nuvaring, the birth control patch, and nexplanon- fertility should resume to normal within a month, if not less depending on where you are in your cycle when the method is stopped. The one exception to this is depo provera, where it can take 6 months to resume ovulation. That may be the one exception to considering birth control cessation far ahead of conception attempts- but here you might also consider switching from depo provera to another more reversible method until you are ready.

    0 comments
  • IcePenguin

    2 years, 1 month ago

    “But it can also happen right away, so be prepared for that possibility as well.”
    Thank you so much for including that, that’s not talked about enough!
    When I was 35 and thinking of trying to conceive I was told it might take a while (6 to 12 months) and OB said she’d give me Clomid in 3 months. I got pregnant the same month I stopped BC and was shocked (both in a positive and negative way). The timing was horrible and high stress, it took years of therapy postpartum and I’m convinced the stress and depression over the situation caused my highrisk for pre-term status. I wish I didn’t fall victim to the idea of ‘you’re old, it will take a while’ school of thought that is so pervasive.
    My second took twice as long (one month total) at age 38.

    0 comments
  • mamu

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Re: Data-Driven Conception
    Loved this one. It’s always a treat when a ParentData article aligns with where I am in my parenting timeline.
    One question I still have is about the effects of breastfeeding on women TTC. Maybe for a follow up piece? I would love to get into the nitty gritty on that subject.

    0 comments
  • Emer

    2 years, 1 month ago

    Re. the mother needing reassurance to formula feed her baby – I tried breastfeeding, and after some initial struggles and support from a lactation consultant, I found it worked well for me. I felt a lot of pressure the opposite way (pressure to use formula) and I think it’s just one of those paradoxes of Motherhood. We will be judged no matter what we do. Follow your heart and do what is best for your family.

    One big benefit I’ve experienced with breastfeeding is the ease of traveling or just leaving the house (no strategizing over where and when to make/store/heat/clean a bottle) and no need to be constantly washing/sterilizing bottles (assuming you’re not pumping much, in which case there is plenty of that!). I find both aspects aren’t talked about much, but they do make a difference in my daily life. Just something to add into your consideration.

    2 comments
    • KathleenN

      2 years, 1 month ago

      I think this is true (damned if you do, damned if you don’t), but from another BFing mother, I think it’s important to be mindful of the differences in the quality/content of the criticisms aimed at formula moms. The judgement I received was all about whether breastfeeding was good for me (“don’t you just feel like a pacifier?”), or necessary (“you had formula and you turned out fine”), or good for them (people who want a chance to feed the baby), etc. No one ever implied that I was doing something to hurt my baby, or not a good mom, which I think is a lot of what formula feeding moms hear, and which I think is a much harder criticism to deal with, and much more emotionally charged, especially to new or hormonal parents.

      0 comments
    • Dr.Stephanie

      2 years, 1 month ago

      Quick response from a pediatrician/IBCLC who practices lactation medicine. (Obviously pro-breastmilk, but we’ll put that aside.) Milk comes in, sometimes dramatically, even if there is no intention to breastfeed. My advice is to prepare for that and know that you are the best mom for your baby, and your decision will be perfect. Congrats!

      0 comments
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