Agreed, thanks for sharing and solidarity! Eight weeks postpartum with our third (also have a 4 yr old and a 20 month old) and I’m so thankful for our crew but woof it is a tough season. Really looking forward to getting time back with my husband. In the meantime taking it one day (sometimes minute!) at a time and reminding myself how fast time goes.

Yay! So happy your baby is sleeping! And, I’m so sorry you’re not! I had PPD with my first and late morning waking insomnia. A few things that helped me: I would not get up, I would read young adult fiction like Harry Potter on my Kindle until sleepiness returned so I didn’t dwell on sleeping, I made sure my baby and I went outside every day, I made a bedtime routine for myself and I got a weighted blanket. I hope you find something that works for you!

I had this for months, it’s so hard, it takes time for your body to adjust back, and then just when I think I’m in the clear baby has a sleep regression! I found a sound machine in my room helped, and trying to replace the thought loop when I woke in the night from “this is so stressful and frustrating, I’ll never sleep, I’m going to be so tired” to “I will be ok, it’s not the end of the world, I will get through this” or singing a song in my head

I’m not sure if you already do this but I would suggest not looking at the clock at all! And if you read on your kindle or something keep the backlight really low. Do you remember your dreams? I can usually remember what I was dreaming about so I try to picture the dream and what was happening to lull me back into the dream/to sleep. Or I play sudoku on phone until I am sleepy, box breathe, or count backwards from 300 by 7s (I can never make it past 200). Other than that I also suggest cool dark room with a sound machine and like someone else said – your own bedtime routine!

For me it took prescription drugs to deal with post-partum insomnia. An endocrinologist prescribed me 40mg of Trazodone. I took Trazodone for about six months and it helped preserve my sanity. Also, I would recommend a mouth guard, Breath Right nasal strips, ear plugs, eye mask, blackout curtains, Sleepytime Extra tea (not the regular Sleepytime!) and a hot bath and a weighted blanket. Good luck to you!

No tips. My son is 2.5 and I still wake up almost every night for 2 hrs between 2-4. I now actually kind of embrace it. Get to bed EARLY. In the middle of the night I read all the articles on the New Yorker (on my phone… I know, I know).

It took me several years before I stopped hearing feint crying at night. It’s completely normal. And you’ll get to a place where you know your baby is completely safe, has everything they need and may just settle back of you do hear a wimper. Give it some time as it is another adjustment that you have to make. You’re not alone and it will get better.

We have a similar woe as well! He started playing with older kids and new kids at school. I am wondering where he picked up some of the words and how to handle some discussions around them. So solidarity!

Trust yourself! Lactation consultants can only tell you what is average. I sent daycare a lot more than 12 oz of milk. My first was drinking three 8 oz bottles per day for a while! I know this is so hard. I am a mom of a singleton and then twins, and I put so much pressure on myself to breastfeed. Please know that there is nothing wrong with supplementing with formula.

As for sleep training, I was in the same boat with my twins. When they turned 6 months, I felt like I was going to die if I didn’t get more sleep. Our pediatrician helped me feel better about sleep training and we finally let them cry it out. We are were all so much happier when we were getting some sleep!

Good luck mama – you got this!!

With my first, I tortured myself with extra pump sessions and power pumping to get to the ounces he drank at daycare (i had the same situation, I sent 12 but they said he was still hungry.) With my second, I haven’t had the emotional stamina to pump in the evening, so we supplement. It’s been the greatest decision! I still pump at work, but it takes up so much less mental space. Whatever I get, we supplement with formula as needed. It has been incredibly freeing and has only improved our breastfeeding relationship.

That is such a hard space to be in: the cycle of low sleep, sickness, and pumping/breastfeeding while also trying to work. I similarly have struggled with this, and would echo the other comments about embracing formula to supplement breastmilk.

Other small things: I’ve noticed that drinking coconut water specifically is really helpful for my supply, more so than any other liquids (including plain water). Weird and maybe it’s just me but sharing in case it could be helpful. Also my little one started with 4x4oz bottles (when he was 2-4ish months old at daycare) and then went to 2x4oz + 2x5oz until he started really eating solids meaningfully at about 8-9 months. Now, at 10 months, he’s down to solids + about 12-14oz total during a daycare day. Just for another point of reference!

Feel ya! Does your baby have good head control and act interested when you eat? If so, you can introduce baby food purées now with an early introduction of iron rich foods. One food at a time, baby cereal mixed with breast milk, then other baby foods one at a time and try to focus on iron (if your family eats meat, then you can introduce puréed meat early.) You can start with an early evening meal to try to get your baby through the night. Really, it’s ok!

This sort of one size fits all advice can be so damaging to moms who are trying so hard to maintain breastfeeding while going back to work. I would trust your daycare providers and yourself about what your baby really needs. FWIW, my son is the same age and I’ve been sending two 5 ounce pumped bottles and 2 6 ounce formula bottles for 8 hours of daycare.

This is so hard. Solidarity. I second those saying please feel free to supplement with formula! There are amazing high quality formulas out there and like others are saying, supplementing actually benefited my breastfeeding relationship with all three of my kids. And contrary to what the breastfeeding mafia will have you believe, it did not impact my supply in the slightest. Babies drink a lot more from bottles/with caregivers and you want them to have all the milk they need to keep him happy! Supplementing during the day might solve your night waking problem too. Sleep training is great but it’s probably more important to make sure his weight is in track before doing so. Wishing you all the best and please know that no matter what, you WILL sleep through the night! The day will come I promise!

My almost 6 month old also nurses 2-4 times a night (one side each time, including an early morning feed that I could use as a wake-up time). It’s completely normal. I’m certain my baby needs the calories. He too is gaining on the slow side and will likely not double his weight by 6 months. I also pump during the day and know he’s getting enough to eat then; he refuses extra. Night nursing helps keep your supply up and you usually produce a good amount in a night feed (I know from observing my pumping output). If you are open to co-sleeping, it can help you fall asleep more easily. I honestly feel quite rested during the day despite technically being woken up multiple times.

Similar for me! My 7 month old started day care for the first time last week and it only took 2 days (!) For him to catch something that has taken us out. It was a win, mostly for me to let him go!, to start day care and no the sickness is part of it all, but man, it sucks! Side note: snot suckers are 🤢 but win that we both survived using them!

I am so thrilled for you!

I always wonder what happens to the OPs, so glad to hear you’ve turned a corner!

I think of your post often – I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing so well!!! <3

Thats amazing!!
Gives me strength to keep searching for my husband.. he’s the one with the chronic illness, but it affects the whole family ofc with 2 little ones (3 and almost 1).

I can commiserate! I also work part time and starting when my son was 14 months we had a lengthy period of my husband working a lot of overtime with the house stuff also falling more to me. Sleep makes such a big difference for how I feel. I did gentle sleep training with my son around 10/11 months and while we’ve had some regressions it really helped us. My husband and I also checked in a lot about what the expectation was for the overtime – how long did it seem like it would last and what were the tradeoffs. I still got really frustrated at times, but it helped for us both to know what the situation was and how the other person was feeling. It made me feel less alone and like we were a team getting through it together. We also try to cook simple meals with minimal clean up (crockpot, sheet pan dinners, things that can be prepped in parts through the day). I talked to a counselor a couple times over the period too (which of course can be hard trying to fit in with everything else). Hang in there through this season – you’re handling a lot and it makes sense that it feels overwhelming.

Ugggh that’s so frustrating! I’m sorry!

In our area (Westchester NY) a number of “5s programs” have sprung up to meet this need. We decided to send our daughter to K even though she’s on the younger end because the preschool she had been going to didn’t have this option and she wanted to go to K with her friends. It’s been a mixed bag, in some ways she’s doing incredibly and has grown so much, in other ways I can see how she would have benefited from being held back and am a little regretful.

Holy crap I had no idea this was a thing.

Congratulations!! Keep crushing it mama:)

Watching the dad/baby struggle hurt my heart and also, unfortunate to admit…made me a little resentful because then I could never get a few cry -free moments whereas dad could go do dad in general peace. “Everything’s a phase” – I have no advice, just solidarity. <3

I’m so sorry. That has to be hard for all of you. I’m sure you have already tried this but maybe a faster flowing nipple on the bottle (for an older baby) would help approximate the boob given that you have oversupply?

We had something similar with my first and we had to keep switching bottles until we found one that worked — then a few weeks later baby just decided one day that they hated that bottle and we had to do it all over again. In the end we found a bottle they liked and they stuck with it! Maybe a new bottle will help. Good luck! It’s so hard when it comes to feeding.

I’m SO sorry about your struggles in recovering from the birth of your son! I feel like atypical PP recovery isn’t talked about enough, so thank you for bringing it up. I really hope you can eventually heal and resume your more active lifestyle. Hugs!

This is so hard. I broke my ankle in multiple places late in my pregnancy, then had an emergency c- section. Recovering from both while also trying to take care of a baby and get back to work has been rough. It’s so hard to see other women with their babies and not think about the things I couldn’t do with mine. Over a year later there are still things I can’t do. I don’t know exactly what sort of complications you’re still dealing with, but something that has actually helped me is to stop expecting myself to get “back to normal.” When I can adjust my expectations and accept that this just is my body now, I can focus more on what I can do with my kid and less on what I can’t do. Some days that’s harder than others though. Rooting for you!

Screen time from 5-6 every day sounds amazing for me and them. I’m trying it! 🙂

Don’t worry! You are not failing! Some kids just hate that spoon coming at their faces. I say give it a break and try again in 2 or 3 weeks. It’s almost time to develop the pincer grasp for self feeding anyway, and your baby may just skip the feeding with a spoon and go straight to self feeding, which is fine. And – it’s fine for babies to “play” with food- it gets them used to it. Of course, we get to clean up the mess, but that’s ok!

I feel you in thinking things should be easier by now. I have an almost 7YO and am constantly amazed that we are *still* dealing with certain difficult behaviors. I’m sure it’s hard to be out with your son when he is isn’t acting like a typical 5YO, but you DO have a right to be out there doing whatever it is you want to do. People just need to deal! And you have an awesome growth mindset. 🙂

Right there with you! We’ve been TTC since ours turned 18mo last summer. We’ve managed to get pregnant twice in that time but had two early losses. I feel like it might’ve just been rotten luck, but starting to consider requesting tests etc. Hope things work out for both of us soon!