How Do I Know When to Let My Kid Take Risks?

I find myself often in a conundrum about what to forbid or not when it comes to my kiddo and taking physical risks. For example, if she wants to walk along a high cement wall, or hang off of precarious things, or get right at the edge of a cliff, etc. — I have distinct memories of taking some pretty extreme risks as a kid, and if my parents forbade it, mostly that just meant I did it alone rather than with supervision (which seems worse). I am often trying to gauge things like how likely it is that she’ll fall and be hurt – and how badly she would be hurt if she is, and I feel like I’m estimating all of those things entirely based on a gut reaction. This seems wrong, especially since my gut reaction and my husband’s gut reaction are on wildly opposite ends of the spectrum much of the time. Are there accident-related stats somewhere I should be referencing instead?
—Overly or Under-ly Cautious?

For me, this really gets into a broader question about how much protection we provide our kids and how much supervision, even as they age. I remember as a kid running around our neighborhood with the other kids, playing in the parking lot down the street, climbing up to various people’s roofs, and so on. I cannot imagine that happening now. (Free- Range Kids has an interesting perspective on this.)

kid falling from bike and holding the leg while an adult is checking — RDNE Stock project / Pexels

But you asked a much more specific question, which is: are there accident-related stats somewhere? The answer is yes. The CDC has some data on causes of ER visits. It’s not super- granular, so you cannot learn that (for example) trampolines are very dangerous (they are!). But I guess I’d take away a few things. For fatal injuries in kids, the vast majority are a result of car accidents (mostly occupants, some pedestrians).

For non-fatal injuries, it’s a lot of falls and being struck by something (probably also cars much of the time). The chance of a 1- to 4- year- old going to the ER for a fall in a given year is about 5% (this is the highest- risk group). It seems scary, I think, but most of these are treat- and- release and the child is fine.

In a sense, you and your husband are both “right.” If you let your kid walk on a concrete wall, there is a chance they will fall and hit their teeth and you’ll have to take them to the ER (yes, this did happen to my kid). On the other hand, walking on a wall is fun. And the biggest serious risk is one you likely take every day by putting your kid in the car.