Secondary Infertility—And What to do About It

Emily Oster

8 min Read Emily Oster

Emily Oster

Secondary Infertility—And What to do About It

Everything you need to know when you're trying for a second child

Emily Oster

8 min Read

When we discuss infertility, we often focus on “primary infertility,” a situation defined as one in which a couple is unable to conceive after 12 months of regular unprotected sexual intercourse. (I know the term is also used more colloquially, but this is the formal definition.) Less discussed, but only somewhat less present, is secondary infertility: an inability to conceive after a prior non-treatment-assisted conception.

Secondary infertility is often unexpected. Before beginning to try to get pregnant for the first time, many of us are preoccupied by some version of the worry Will it work? But if it did work the first time, finding it hard a second time can be, among many other feelings, simply confusing.

In addition to being confusing and frustrating, secondary infertility is an experience many parents find themselves fundamentally unsupported in. Comments like, “Well, you should feel lucky you have one!” may be well-meaning (or may not be) but can be incredibly hurtful.

Today I’m going to try to work through some of the confusion, normalize this experience, and answer some of the more specific questions we have gotten over the years about it. There is, of course, so much more to be said about the experience of infertility — it’s a topic that I hope we will have more space for in the newsletter going forward. In the meantime, I would recommend The Trying Game and It Starts with the Egg as helpful, data-based resources.

What is the definition of secondary infertility?

Similar to primary infertility, secondary infertility is defined as the inability to conceive after 12 months of regular unprotected sexual intercourse. The difference is that secondary infertility occurs after a prior non-assisted conception.

The definition seems simple, but a diagnosis isn’t always so clear.

First, note that if a prior pregnancy was conceived through IVF or other assisted reproduction, then a later difficulty conceiving would not be defined as secondary infertility (effectively, it would be a continuation of primary infertility). There isn’t specific language for this situation. As one reader told me: “There’s no language for those who have gone through primary and then secondary infertility, so I just say, ‘I’m continuously infertile.’ ”

Second, there can be circumstances after a first birth (notably, breastfeeding) in which you are not ovulating for a known reason. Failure to conceive during this period would not be considered secondary infertility, even if you were having unprotected intercourse.

Finally, there is a distinction between fertility and fecundity. “Fertility” refers to conception. “Fecundity” refers to live birth. It is possible to be fertile but not fecund (which would be reflected, for example, in conceptions followed by miscarriages). However, when data is collected on this, these are often conflated. In fact, in most of the data I’ll cover below, we’re actually talking about fecundity rather than fertility. Data on conceptions is just more difficult to collect in large surveys than data on births.

How common is secondary infertility? 

This is a complicated question to answer with data. Ideally, it would be addressed as follows. You’d start with a large cohort of couples who are trying to conceive. You’d follow them over time. Some of them would be unable to conceive initially; this would give you an estimate of the rate of primary infertility. Some would be able to conceive a first child but then would be unable to conceive a second child. Ideally, you’d limit your analysis in the second case to those who tried to conceive a second child.

Even this “ideal” approach is challenging. For example: couples who had an easier time conceiving a first child may be more likely to try for a second child, in which case the share of people who would experience secondary infertility if everyone tried for a second kid would be underestimated.

In practice, we do not generally have prospective data of this type. Instead, researchers use surveys in which couples are asked about their desire for more children, and where fertility histories are available. Globally, a huge number of these surveys exist. This paper summarizes data from 277 surveys across the world. The authors calculate a rate of primary infertility — measured as childlessness among couples who express a desire for children, are not using contraception, and have been together for at least five years. And they calculate a rate of secondary infertility — measured as a lack of additional children among couples with at least one prior birth who express a desire for more children, are not using contraception, and for whom it’s been at least five years since the last child.

(The paper is an example of the confusing rhetoric of fertility versus fecundity; it talks about this as infertility, but the measurement is actually fecundity.)

In these data, the primary infertility rate is low: about 2%. The secondary infertility rate is much higher, about 10%, but that is a bit misleading. For women ages 20 to 24, the secondary infertility rate was only 2.6% (almost exactly the same as the primary infertility rate). For women in their 40s, it was 25%.

In a smaller sample but closer to home, one survey of about 4,000 American college graduates concluded that the primary infertility rate was 3.1%, with a secondary infertility rate of 14%.

What this data suggests is that secondary infertility may actually be slightly more common than primary infertility (this is echoed in other studies). A lot of it seems to be about age. As women age, fertility (and fecundity) decline. When we look at the multi-country study above, for the youngest age group, secondary infertility occurs at approximately the same rate as primary infertility. The fact that the overall average is higher seems to reflect the fact that it includes, on average, an older group of people.

Are there factors that increase the risk of secondary infertility?

Other than age, are there other risk factors here? More specifically, are there risk factors beyond those for primary infertility?

Many of the risk factors are the same. And, on average, if you had a difficult time getting pregnant the first time, it is informative about later pregnancies. This correlation isn’t perfect! Plenty of people struggle with a first pregnancy and find themselves unexpectedly pregnant a second time. However, it may be helpful to think of fertility on a continuum. The further you are along the continuum, the more likely you are to get pregnant in any given time frame.

If it took a long time to get pregnant the first time, that suggests something about your underlying fertility (it could just be bad luck, but it’s more likely it would take longer if your overall fertility is lower).

It is also possible that complications during an earlier childbirth — particular issues with the placenta, for example, or multiple cesarean sections — could make it more difficult to conceive or carry a pregnancy. This would be something to discuss with your doctor if you had complications the first time.

What is the treatment for secondary infertility? 

Secondary infertility is treated in the same way as primary infertility. This means a range of approaches, from medications like Clomid that spur egg production, to sperm evaluations, to IVF. There isn’t much good data on how effective these methods are in secondary versus primary infertility. Again, age is a complicated confound here. These approaches also decline somewhat in their success rates with age. If you’re facing this issue, your fertility specialist will be your best resource.

The bottom line

In my writing on pregnancy and parenting, one thing I have found very consistently is that when a concern or condition is not discussed publicly, people often fail to get help when they need it. Pelvic floor issues come to mind — no one talks about it, so people often miss that there is help available.

Secondary infertility falls in this category. Despite the fact that it is common — likely even more common than primary infertility (also not enough discussed) — we rarely discuss or surface it. This leaves people to suffer in silence, and also to be more hesitant than they should be to raise the concern with their providers.

So: here’s the opportunity. If you’re struggling to conceive additional children, it’s not unusual. And treatment is there.

Resources

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week, and there are many ways to find support and get involved. Attend an eventshare your story, and learn more about RESOLVE’s mission to remove barriers for people who need help building their family. If you are experiencing primary or secondary infertility, their Get Help page is a great place to start. You are not alone.

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I’m calling on you today to share your story. I know that many of you have experienced complications during pregnancy, birth, or postpartum. It’s not something we want to talk about, but it’s important that we do. Not just for awareness, but to help people going through it feel a little less alone.

That’s why I’m asking you to post a story, photo, or reel this week with #MyUnexpectedStory and tag me. I’ll re-share as many as I can to amplify. Let’s fill our feeds with these important stories and lift each other up. Our voices can create change. And your story matters. 💙

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I’m calling on you today to share your story. I know that many of you have experienced complications during pregnancy, birth, or postpartum. It’s not something we want to talk about, but it’s important that we do. Not just for awareness, but to help people going through it feel a little less alone.

That’s why I’m asking you to post a story, photo, or reel this week with #MyUnexpectedStory and tag me. I’ll re-share as many as I can to amplify. Let’s fill our feeds with these important stories and lift each other up. Our voices can create change. And your story matters. 💙

#theunexpected #emilyoster #pregnancycomplications #pregnancystory
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OUT NOW: My new book “The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications” is available on April 30th. All of my other books came out of my own experiences. I wrote them to answer questions I had, as a pregnant woman and then as a new parent. “The Unexpected” is a book not to answer my own questions but to answer yours. Specifically, to answer the thousands of questions I’ve gotten over the past decade from people whose pregnancies were more complicated than they had expected. This is for you. 💛 Order now at my link in bio! ...

OUT NOW: My new book “The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications” is available on April 30th. All of my other books came out of my own experiences. I wrote them to answer questions I had, as a pregnant woman and then as a new parent. “The Unexpected” is a book not to answer my own questions but to answer yours. Specifically, to answer the thousands of questions I’ve gotten over the past decade from people whose pregnancies were more complicated than they had expected. This is for you. 💛 Order now at my link in bio!

OUT NOW: My new book “The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications” is available on April 30th. All of my other books came out of my own experiences. I wrote them to answer questions I had, as a pregnant woman and then as a new parent. “The Unexpected” is a book not to answer my own questions but to answer yours. Specifically, to answer the thousands of questions I’ve gotten over the past decade from people whose pregnancies were more complicated than they had expected. This is for you. 💛 Order now at my link in bio! ...

OUT NOW: My new book “The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications” is available on April 30th. All of my other books came out of my own experiences. I wrote them to answer questions I had, as a pregnant woman and then as a new parent. “The Unexpected” is a book not to answer my own questions but to answer yours. Specifically, to answer the thousands of questions I’ve gotten over the past decade from people whose pregnancies were more complicated than they had expected. This is for you. 💛 Order now at my link in bio!

OUT NOW: My new book “The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications” is available on April 30th. All of my other books came out of my own experiences. I wrote them to answer questions I had, as a pregnant woman and then as a new parent. “The Unexpected” is a book not to answer my own questions but to answer yours. Specifically, to answer the thousands of questions I’ve gotten over the past decade from people whose pregnancies were more complicated than they had expected. This is for you. 💛 Order now at my link in bio! ...

Is side sleeping important during pregnancy? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article on whether sleep position affects pregnancy outcomes.

Being pregnant makes you tired, and as time goes by, it gets increasingly hard to get comfortable. You were probably instructed to sleep on your side and not your back, but it turns out that advice is not based on very good data.

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Sources:
📖 #ExpectingBetter pp. 160-163
📈 Robert M. Silver et al., “Prospective Evaluation of Maternal Sleep Position Through 30 Weeks of Gestation and Adverse Pregnancy Outcomes,” Obstetrics and Gynecology 134, no. 4 (2019): 667–76. 

#emilyoster #pregnancy #pregnancytips #sleepingposition #pregnantlife

Is side sleeping important during pregnancy? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article on whether sleep position affects pregnancy outcomes.

Being pregnant makes you tired, and as time goes by, it gets increasingly hard to get comfortable. You were probably instructed to sleep on your side and not your back, but it turns out that advice is not based on very good data.

We now have much better data on this, and the bulk of the evidence seems to reject the link between sleep position and stillbirth or other negative outcomes. So go ahead and get some sleep however you are most comfortable. 💤

Sources:
📖 #ExpectingBetter pp. 160-163
📈 Robert M. Silver et al., “Prospective Evaluation of Maternal Sleep Position Through 30 Weeks of Gestation and Adverse Pregnancy Outcomes,” Obstetrics and Gynecology 134, no. 4 (2019): 667–76.

#emilyoster #pregnancy #pregnancytips #sleepingposition #pregnantlife
...

My new book, “The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications” is available for preorder at the link in my bio!

I co-wrote #TheUnexpected with my friend and maternal fetal medicine specialist, Dr. Nathan Fox. The unfortunate reality is that about half of pregnancies include complications such as preeclampsia, miscarriage, preterm birth, and postpartum depression. Because these are things not talked about enough, it can not only be an isolating experience, but it can also make treatment harder to access.

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My new book, “The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications” is available for preorder at the link in my bio!

I co-wrote #TheUnexpected with my friend and maternal fetal medicine specialist, Dr. Nathan Fox. The unfortunate reality is that about half of pregnancies include complications such as preeclampsia, miscarriage, preterm birth, and postpartum depression. Because these are things not talked about enough, it can not only be an isolating experience, but it can also make treatment harder to access.

The book lays out the data on recurrence and delves into treatment options shown to lower risk for these conditions in subsequent pregnancies. It also guides you through how to have productive conversations and make shared decisions with your doctor. I hope none of you need this book, but if you do, it’ll be here for you 💛

#pregnancy #pregnancycomplications #pregnancyjourney #preeclampsiaawareness #postpartumjourney #emilyoster
...

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Only two weeks until our book “The Unexpected” is here! Preorder at the link in my bio. 💙

We are better writers than influencers, I promise. Thanks to our kids for filming our unboxing videos. People make this look way too easy.

Only two weeks until our book “The Unexpected” is here! Preorder at the link in my bio. 💙
...

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While doctors have long said Tylenol was safe, confusing studies, panic headlines, and even a lawsuit have continually stoked fears in parents. As a result, many pregnant women have chosen not to take it, even if it would help them.

This is why good data is so important! When we can trust the data, we can trust our choices. And this study shows there is no blame to be placed on pregnant women here. So if you have a migraine or fever, please take your Tylenol.

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Exciting news! We have new, high-quality data that says it’s safe to take Tylenol during pregnancy and there is no link between Tylenol exposure and neurodevelopmental issues in kids. Comment “Link” for a DM to an article exploring this groundbreaking study.

While doctors have long said Tylenol was safe, confusing studies, panic headlines, and even a lawsuit have continually stoked fears in parents. As a result, many pregnant women have chosen not to take it, even if it would help them.

This is why good data is so important! When we can trust the data, we can trust our choices. And this study shows there is no blame to be placed on pregnant women here. So if you have a migraine or fever, please take your Tylenol.

#tylenol #pregnancy #pregnancyhealth #pregnancytips #parentdata #emilyoster
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How many words should kids say — and when? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article about language development!

For this graph, researchers used a standardized measure of vocabulary size. Parents were given a survey and checked off all the words and sentences they have heard their child say.

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How many words should kids say — and when? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article about language development!

For this graph, researchers used a standardized measure of vocabulary size. Parents were given a survey and checked off all the words and sentences they have heard their child say.

They found that the average child—the 50th percentile line—at 24 months has about 300 words. A child at the 10th percentile—near the bottom of the distribution—has only about 50 words. On the other end, a child at the 90th percentile has close to 600 words. One main takeaway from these graphs is the explosion of language after fourteen or sixteen months.

What’s valuable about this data is it can give us something beyond a general guideline about when to consider early intervention, and also provide reassurance that there is a significant range in this distribution at all young ages.

#cribsheet #emilyoster #parentdata #languagedevelopment #firstwords
...

I saw this and literally laughed out loud 😂 Thank you @adamgrant for sharing this gem! Someone let me know who originally created this masterpiece so I can give them the proper credit.

I saw this and literally laughed out loud 😂 Thank you @adamgrant for sharing this gem! Someone let me know who originally created this masterpiece so I can give them the proper credit. ...

Perimenopause comes with a whole host of symptoms, like brain fog, low sex drive, poor energy, and loss of muscle mass. These symptoms can be extremely bothersome and hard to treat. Could testosterone help? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article about the data on testosterone treatment for women in perimenopause.

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Perimenopause comes with a whole host of symptoms, like brain fog, low sex drive, poor energy, and loss of muscle mass. These symptoms can be extremely bothersome and hard to treat. Could testosterone help? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article about the data on testosterone treatment for women in perimenopause.

#perimenopause #perimenopausehealth #womenshealth #hormoneimbalance #emilyoster #parentdata
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What age is best to start swim lessons? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article about water safety for children 💦

Summer is quickly approaching! You might be wondering if it’s the right time to have your kid start swim lessons. The AAP recommends starting between 1 and 4 years old. This is largely based on a randomized trial where young children were put into 8 or 12 weeks of swim lessons. They found that swimming ability and water safety reactions improve in both groups, and more so in the 12 weeks group.

Below this age range though, they are too young to actually learn how to swim. It’s fine to bring your baby into the pool (if you’re holding them) and they might like the water. But starting formal safety-oriented swim lessons before this age isn’t likely to be very helpful.

Most importantly, no matter how old your kid is or how good of a swimmer they are, adult supervision is always necessary!

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What age is best to start swim lessons? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article about water safety for children 💦

Summer is quickly approaching! You might be wondering if it’s the right time to have your kid start swim lessons. The AAP recommends starting between 1 and 4 years old. This is largely based on a randomized trial where young children were put into 8 or 12 weeks of swim lessons. They found that swimming ability and water safety reactions improve in both groups, and more so in the 12 weeks group.

Below this age range though, they are too young to actually learn how to swim. It’s fine to bring your baby into the pool (if you’re holding them) and they might like the water. But starting formal safety-oriented swim lessons before this age isn’t likely to be very helpful.

Most importantly, no matter how old your kid is or how good of a swimmer they are, adult supervision is always necessary!

#swimlessons #watersafety #kidsswimminglessons #poolsafety #emilyoster #parentdata
...

Can babies have salt? 🧂 While babies don’t need extra salt beyond what’s in breast milk or formula, the risks of salt toxicity from normal foods are minimal. There are concerns about higher blood pressure in the long term due to a higher salt diet in the first year, but the data on these is not super compelling and the differences are small.

Like with most things, moderation is key! Avoid very salty chips or olives or saltines with your infant. But if you’re doing baby-led weaning, it’s okay for them to share your lightly salted meals. Your baby does not need their own, unsalted, chicken if you’re making yourself a roast. Just skip the super salty stuff.

 #emilyoster #parentdata #childnutrition #babynutrition #foodforkids

Can babies have salt? 🧂 While babies don’t need extra salt beyond what’s in breast milk or formula, the risks of salt toxicity from normal foods are minimal. There are concerns about higher blood pressure in the long term due to a higher salt diet in the first year, but the data on these is not super compelling and the differences are small.

Like with most things, moderation is key! Avoid very salty chips or olives or saltines with your infant. But if you’re doing baby-led weaning, it’s okay for them to share your lightly salted meals. Your baby does not need their own, unsalted, chicken if you’re making yourself a roast. Just skip the super salty stuff.

#emilyoster #parentdata #childnutrition #babynutrition #foodforkids
...

Is sleep training bad? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article breaking down the data on sleep training 😴

Among parenting topics, sleep training is one of the most divisive. Ultimately, it’s important to know that studies looking at the short- and long-term effects of sleep training show no evidence of harm. The data actually shows it can improve infant sleep and lower parental depression.

Even so, while sleep training can be a great option, it will not be for everyone. Just as people can feel judged for sleep training, they can feel judged for not doing it. Engaging in any parenting behavior because it’s what’s expected of you is not a good idea. You have to do what works best for your family! If that’s sleep training, make a plan and implement it. If not, that’s okay too.

What’s your experience with sleep training? Did you feel judged for your decision to do (or not do) it?

#sleeptraining #newparents #babysleep #emilyoster #parentdata

Is sleep training bad? Comment “Link” for a DM to an article breaking down the data on sleep training 😴

Among parenting topics, sleep training is one of the most divisive. Ultimately, it’s important to know that studies looking at the short- and long-term effects of sleep training show no evidence of harm. The data actually shows it can improve infant sleep and lower parental depression.

Even so, while sleep training can be a great option, it will not be for everyone. Just as people can feel judged for sleep training, they can feel judged for not doing it. Engaging in any parenting behavior because it’s what’s expected of you is not a good idea. You have to do what works best for your family! If that’s sleep training, make a plan and implement it. If not, that’s okay too.

What’s your experience with sleep training? Did you feel judged for your decision to do (or not do) it?

#sleeptraining #newparents #babysleep #emilyoster #parentdata
...

Does your kid love to stall right before bedtime? 💤 Tell me more about their tactics in the comments below!

#funnytweets #bedtime #nightimeroutine #parentinghumor #parentingmemes

Does your kid love to stall right before bedtime? 💤 Tell me more about their tactics in the comments below!

#funnytweets #bedtime #nightimeroutine #parentinghumor #parentingmemes
...

Got a big decision to make? 🤔 Comment “Link” for a DM to read about my easy mantra for making hard choices. 

When we face a complicated problem in pregnancy or parenting, and don’t like either option A or B, we often wait around for a secret third option to reveal itself. This magical thinking, as appealing as it is, gets in the way. We need a way to remind ourselves that we need to make an active choice, even if it is hard. The mantra I use for this: “There is no secret option C.”

Having this realization, accepting it, reminding ourselves of it, can help us make the hard decisions and accurately weigh the risks and benefits of our choices.

#parentingquotes #decisionmaking #nosecretoptionc #parentingadvice #emilyoster #parentdata

Got a big decision to make? 🤔 Comment “Link” for a DM to read about my easy mantra for making hard choices.

When we face a complicated problem in pregnancy or parenting, and don’t like either option A or B, we often wait around for a secret third option to reveal itself. This magical thinking, as appealing as it is, gets in the way. We need a way to remind ourselves that we need to make an active choice, even if it is hard. The mantra I use for this: “There is no secret option C.”

Having this realization, accepting it, reminding ourselves of it, can help us make the hard decisions and accurately weigh the risks and benefits of our choices.

#parentingquotes #decisionmaking #nosecretoptionc #parentingadvice #emilyoster #parentdata
...