Does pregnant maternal attitude impact the baby’s attitude? Family keeps telling me (pregnant) to smile and be happy and laugh so the baby is born with that attitude, rather than my naturally neutral personality. Which then leads to even more pressure that I’m not doing it (being pregnant) right!
—An emotionally drained mom-to-be
This is like “You’d be prettier if you smiled more” but on steroids. I’m sorry this is happening to you!
There is absolutely no data suggesting that if you smiled or laughed more, it would improve your baby’s attitude.
Some things that are true:
- Your personality is likely to have some correlation with your baby’s personality. This is because … they are related to you and will live with you. They’ll also have some things in common with your partner. If you’re a quiet person, your kid might be a quiet person too. Which is great! Being loud while you’re pregnant will not make them loud.
- Extreme forms of stress in pregnancy (death of a spouse or parent) have been associated with small increases in mental health issues for children. Which is to say that in extreme cases, cortisol during pregnancy might impact your child. This doesn’t directly apply here, but I mention it because I wonder if it might be what your family is thinking about. If so, not relevant.
Bottom line: Smile the amount you want. And congratulations!
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Just a friendly reminder to the author of the reply that not all babies are genetically related to the people that carry them (e.g., donor eggs, donor embryos). And so sorry to the author of the question that you are getting this maddening question at a time when everyone should especially just be smiling and nodding at whatever emotions you’re feeling!
I had a bad and intense period of depression in my first trimester (that thankfully passed by trimester two). I spent a good amount of time in therapy grappling with the feeling that I had already failed by baby by not feeling happy and positive during / about the pregnancy. This is, of course, anecdotal, but my daughter is 3 months old and is notably smiley, happy, and good natured. I hope you have support to feel however you feel in this pregnancy!