Emily Oster

2 minute read Emily Oster

Emily Oster

Did I Hurt My Baby?

Q&A on pregnancy anxiety

Emily Oster

2 minute read

I was exposed to a small amount of natural pesticide on one finger (long story) during my first trimester. I immediately washed my hands. Do you think any of this will affect the baby?

—Anonymous

There is absolutely no way that this impacted your baby. While it is true that routine exposure to large amounts of pesticides (for example, among pregnant farm workers) is sometimes a concern, this is completely uninformative about what happened to you. There is nothing — no theory, no evidence, no data, no animal or human studies — that would indicate any concern.

I know there are people who will read this question and ask, How could you possibly have that concern? But I see so much of the experience of pregnancy and early parenting here, especially when you’re doing that as someone with anxiety (as many of us are).  

an anxious adult holding the head
Anna Shvets / Pexels

We want so, so badly not to mess things up, not to harm our baby — whether they are in or out — that things that maybe from the outside are small can take over. I’m thinking of the person who asked me if she should stop speaking to her in-laws because they gave her nine-month-old a Honey Nut Cheerio (because: honey). Or of myself, to the hours I spent looking up whether wearing mittens would prevent my daughter from learning to use her hands.

Perspective is very hard in these moments. And sometimes it is enough to just step back and say, hey, actually, this is probably not something to worry about. Sometimes we need a little more help with this. If you see yourself here, and especially if you’ve got a lot of moments like this, it’s worth considering whether some help for your anxiety may make things a bit lighter.

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