Emily Oster

2 min Read Emily Oster

Emily Oster

Grief, Anger, Fear

Living with big feelings

Emily Oster

2 min Read

Like many of you, I’m heartbroken about the events in Uvalde and am struggling to process what happened and how we got here yet again. It doesn’t feel like a moment for data. It may be a moment for action (see a few resources below).

Above all, it feels like a moment for feeling. Collective grief for the children lost, for their families, and for their peers. Anger that this is repeated yet again, so soon after another devastating shooting in Buffalo, and nothing has changed. Yet another fear for our own children. Guilt and gratitude that our kids are still there to snuggle us, to curl up at bedtime.

Too often, our instinct in these moments is to try to move past the feelings quickly, to get to action. While action is important (again, see below), the feelings are what we all share — and living with them, acknowledging them, is necessary. If you are crying on the train platform, as I was this week, consider just letting the feelings be there, and live with you for that moment, without trying to push them away and move to the next thing. And then: use them to see a way to action.

For those of us with children, we are likely struggling with what to say to them. This post, on talking about hard things, has a few thoughts on where to start. Another resource, from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, talks more directly about how to discuss a school shooting with children.

If you are looking for data (and a call to action): I’d point you to Megan Ranney, a close colleague who works on the public health implications of gun violence. Kaitlyn Jetelina has also been writing on this topic.

For donations, Everytown and Moms Demand Action are both working on ending gun violence. The Texas Elementary School Victims Fund is working to help families directly.

Please take care of yourself.

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Reflux: It’s more common than you think! Comment “Link” for an article by @thepediatricianmom breaking down the information we have about reflux — what it is, what you can do, and red flags to look out for.

This graph shows how reflux changes with age. Nearly half of all babies experience reflux by 3 months, often peaking around 4 months before improving by their first birthday. And remember, if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. The most effective treatment for infant reflux is time. It will get better!

#parentdata #refluxbaby #babyreflux #spitup #parentingadvice #emilyoster

Reflux: It’s more common than you think! Comment “Link” for an article by @thepediatricianmom breaking down the information we have about reflux — what it is, what you can do, and red flags to look out for.

This graph shows how reflux changes with age. Nearly half of all babies experience reflux by 3 months, often peaking around 4 months before improving by their first birthday. And remember, if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. The most effective treatment for infant reflux is time. It will get better!

#parentdata #refluxbaby #babyreflux #spitup #parentingadvice #emilyoster
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We’re heading into a three-day weekend, which means a lot of you might take the opportunity to do some potty training. 

Here are some things to keep in mind:
🚽 It takes longer than three days (based on the data!)
🚽 Your child will have trouble staying dry at night.
🚽 Poop sometimes comes later than pee – this is common, you just have to work through it.

Comment “Link” for an article that breaks down potty training data from ParentData readers,  along with helpful tips and tricks.

#pottytraining #pottytrainingtips #pottytrainingproblems #parentdata #emilyoster

We’re heading into a three-day weekend, which means a lot of you might take the opportunity to do some potty training.

Here are some things to keep in mind:
🚽 It takes longer than three days (based on the data!)
🚽 Your child will have trouble staying dry at night.
🚽 Poop sometimes comes later than pee – this is common, you just have to work through it.

Comment “Link” for an article that breaks down potty training data from ParentData readers, along with helpful tips and tricks.

#pottytraining #pottytrainingtips #pottytrainingproblems #parentdata #emilyoster
...

Trampoline parks: great way to get the sillies out or injury haven? Or both? Comment “Link” for an article breaking down a 2023 study on injury trends in trampoline parks.

Here’s a visualisation based on the paper, showing the injury rate by area. Beware the foam pit and the high-performance areas! Slam-dunking, though, seems fine.

#parentdata #emilyoster #trampolinepark #childsafety #trampolinefun

Trampoline parks: great way to get the sillies out or injury haven? Or both? Comment “Link” for an article breaking down a 2023 study on injury trends in trampoline parks.

Here’s a visualisation based on the paper, showing the injury rate by area. Beware the foam pit and the high-performance areas! Slam-dunking, though, seems fine.

#parentdata #emilyoster #trampolinepark #childsafety #trampolinefun
...

I’m teaming up with @Wholefoods to remind you that even though school lunches can be tricky, they have everything you need, from conventional to organic, to give you peace of mind about the foods your kids eat. Through their rigorous Quality Standards, they ban 300+ ingredients from food. 

Does your kid have any special or weird lunch requests? Share in the comments! Tap the link in my bio for more tips and inspiration #WholeFoodsMarket

I’m teaming up with @Wholefoods to remind you that even though school lunches can be tricky, they have everything you need, from conventional to organic, to give you peace of mind about the foods your kids eat. Through their rigorous Quality Standards, they ban 300+ ingredients from food.

Does your kid have any special or weird lunch requests? Share in the comments! Tap the link in my bio for more tips and inspiration #WholeFoodsMarket
...

Travel is already stressful. Add kids to the equation, and it becomes even more complicated. Here are 3 tips and considerations for handling jet lag in kids.

#travelwithkids #jetlag #melatonin #parentingtips #parentdata #emilyoster

Travel is already stressful. Add kids to the equation, and it becomes even more complicated. Here are 3 tips and considerations for handling jet lag in kids.

#travelwithkids #jetlag #melatonin #parentingtips #parentdata #emilyoster
...

Happy 11th birthday to #ExpectingBetter 🎂🎉 Writing this book completely changed my life. I could never have imagined the opportunities and community it would lead me to. Grateful to all of you for reading and being here!

To celebrate, you can use the code “expectingbetter” for 15% off Web or Plus subscriptions on ParentData.org 💛

#bookbirthday #pregnancyadvice #parentdata #emilyoster

Happy 11th birthday to #ExpectingBetter 🎂🎉 Writing this book completely changed my life. I could never have imagined the opportunities and community it would lead me to. Grateful to all of you for reading and being here!

To celebrate, you can use the code “expectingbetter” for 15% off Web or Plus subscriptions on ParentData.org 💛

#bookbirthday #pregnancyadvice #parentdata #emilyoster
...

Screens have become a ubiquitous part of classroom life. Is this a good thing? Today on the ParentData podcast, I talk with @jessgrosewrites from the @nytimes. She recently ran a survey asking about kids’ screen usage after not being able to find studies and data on the subject.

“Nothing is all bad or all good. But I think overall, there just has been very little scrutiny into something that has been a massive shift in the way kids learn in the past, let’s say, two decades.”

Comment “Link” for a DM to listen to today’s podcast episode. 🎧

#screentime #technologyintheclassroom #parentdatapodcast #parentdata #emilyoster

Screens have become a ubiquitous part of classroom life. Is this a good thing? Today on the ParentData podcast, I talk with @jessgrosewrites from the @nytimes. She recently ran a survey asking about kids’ screen usage after not being able to find studies and data on the subject.

“Nothing is all bad or all good. But I think overall, there just has been very little scrutiny into something that has been a massive shift in the way kids learn in the past, let’s say, two decades.”

Comment “Link” for a DM to listen to today’s podcast episode. 🎧

#screentime #technologyintheclassroom #parentdatapodcast #parentdata #emilyoster
...

We surveyed the ParentData audience and here’s what you said about the worst baby products. Bottom of the list: unnecessary warmers. Don’t get your kid used to having warm diaper wipes! Nothing good can come of that.

Comment “Link” for the best baby items and other parenting wisdom from the ParentData community. Best general advice: get things used, and you do not need as much as you think. 

Add your advice below! What do you wish you’d known about in advance, and what was a waste? ⬇️

#parentdata #emilyoster #babyproducts #babyitems #newparents #firsttimeparents

We surveyed the ParentData audience and here’s what you said about the worst baby products. Bottom of the list: unnecessary warmers. Don’t get your kid used to having warm diaper wipes! Nothing good can come of that.

Comment “Link” for the best baby items and other parenting wisdom from the ParentData community. Best general advice: get things used, and you do not need as much as you think.

Add your advice below! What do you wish you’d known about in advance, and what was a waste? ⬇️

#parentdata #emilyoster #babyproducts #babyitems #newparents #firsttimeparents
...

Breast is great. But formula is also great. Shaming people for making either choice is harmful. Comment “Link” for an article on formula and the differences between brands.

#emilyoster #parentdata #babyformula #breastfedbaby  #babyhealth

Breast is great. But formula is also great. Shaming people for making either choice is harmful. Comment “Link” for an article on formula and the differences between brands.

#emilyoster #parentdata #babyformula #breastfedbaby #babyhealth
...

Don’t worry about buying a bottle warmer, worry about your relationship. Comment “Link” for an article by @yaelschonbrun on ways to help baby-proof your relationship.

#parentdata #emilyoster #newparents #lifeafterbaby #relationshipadvice

Don’t worry about buying a bottle warmer, worry about your relationship. Comment “Link” for an article by @yaelschonbrun on ways to help baby-proof your relationship.

#parentdata #emilyoster #newparents #lifeafterbaby #relationshipadvice
...

How do we get our kids excited about math? Can every kid be a “math kid”? Shalinee Sharma of @zearnmath shares her insights on the ParentData podcast. 

When I offered her a magic wand to fix math education, she told me: “We have to pair understanding with memorizing. And the best way to understand really anything, but especially math, is simple pictures, concrete context, just make it feel real, not abstract and theoretical. What’s a negative number? Think about if sea level is zero and then you dive into the ocean, that’s a negative number. And then you climb a mountain, well that’s a positive number… We just need pictures to be a part of mathematics.”

Comment “Link” for a DM to listen to today’s podcast episode. 🎧

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #parentingpodcast #mathforkids #emilyoster

How do we get our kids excited about math? Can every kid be a “math kid”? Shalinee Sharma of @zearnmath shares her insights on the ParentData podcast.

When I offered her a magic wand to fix math education, she told me: “We have to pair understanding with memorizing. And the best way to understand really anything, but especially math, is simple pictures, concrete context, just make it feel real, not abstract and theoretical. What’s a negative number? Think about if sea level is zero and then you dive into the ocean, that’s a negative number. And then you climb a mountain, well that’s a positive number… We just need pictures to be a part of mathematics.”

Comment “Link” for a DM to listen to today’s podcast episode. 🎧

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #parentingpodcast #mathforkids #emilyoster
...

I hear from many of you that the information on ParentData makes you feel seen. Wherever you are on your journey, it’s always helpful to know you’re not alone. 

Drop an emoji in the comments that best describes your pregnancy or parenting searches lately… 💤🚽🍻🎒💩

I hear from many of you that the information on ParentData makes you feel seen. Wherever you are on your journey, it’s always helpful to know you’re not alone.

Drop an emoji in the comments that best describes your pregnancy or parenting searches lately… 💤🚽🍻🎒💩
...

Milestones. We celebrate them in pregnancy, in parenting, and they’re a fun thing to celebrate at work too. Just a couple years ago I couldn’t have foreseen what this community would grow into. Today, there are over 400,000 of you here—asking questions, making others feel seen wherever they may be in their journey, and sharing information that supports data > panic. 

It has been a busy summer for the team at ParentData. I’d love to take a moment here to celebrate the 400k milestone. As I’ve said before, it’s more important than ever to put good data in the hands of parents. 

Share this post with a friend who could use a little more data, and a little less parenting overwhelm. 

📷 Me and my oldest, collaborating on “Expecting Better”

Milestones. We celebrate them in pregnancy, in parenting, and they’re a fun thing to celebrate at work too. Just a couple years ago I couldn’t have foreseen what this community would grow into. Today, there are over 400,000 of you here—asking questions, making others feel seen wherever they may be in their journey, and sharing information that supports data > panic.

It has been a busy summer for the team at ParentData. I’d love to take a moment here to celebrate the 400k milestone. As I’ve said before, it’s more important than ever to put good data in the hands of parents.

Share this post with a friend who could use a little more data, and a little less parenting overwhelm.

📷 Me and my oldest, collaborating on “Expecting Better”
...

I spend a lot of time talking people down after they read the latest panic headline. In most cases, these articles create an unnecessary amount of stress around pregnancy and parenting. This is my pro tip for understanding whether the risk presented is something you should really be worrying about.

Comment “link” for an article with other tools to help you navigate risk and uncertainty.

#emilyoster #parentdata #riskmanagement #parentstruggles #parentingstruggles

I spend a lot of time talking people down after they read the latest panic headline. In most cases, these articles create an unnecessary amount of stress around pregnancy and parenting. This is my pro tip for understanding whether the risk presented is something you should really be worrying about.

Comment “link” for an article with other tools to help you navigate risk and uncertainty.

#emilyoster #parentdata #riskmanagement #parentstruggles #parentingstruggles
...