How to best parent a hypercompetitive child? Do you have resources or recommended books? Also, do you have suggestions on how to navigate youth sports to foster a less stressful environment?
—SG
Let me reframe this question. There is no best way to parent! I know you know this, but I think it’s worth saying here because when we ask the question in this way, it makes it very hard to answer, since you haven’t actually said what you are trying to achieve or change.
So: I would ask yourself first what the problem is you are trying to fix.
One problem might be that your child is so invested in the winning associated with sports that they constantly want to quit when they lose. Another problem might be that they are spending too much time and energy. These don’t have the same solutions.
It will also be useful in thinking this through to consider whether the problem is your child or the environment. Even the most even-keeled kid is going to be upset about losing if a coach is screaming at them. It’s possible the solution is to step out, step back, or find another athletic environment. It is unfortunate that so much of the current youth sports landscape is hypercompetitive.
All of this is to say, I have no great answers for you. I do have a couple resources, though. First, it’s not exactly advice, but this book is an interesting look at the competitive culture of youth activities. Second, if the issue is a kid who hates to lose, it might be worth trying some language around growth mindset.
Good luck!
Community Guidelines
Log in