Emily Oster

7 min Read Emily Oster

Emily Oster

It’s Going to be Weird, Right?

Emily Oster

7 min Read

As we all contemplate the possibility of sending children back to day care, or to camp, or eventually to school, a number of parents have written to ask some version of: “It’s going to be weird, right?”

The most specific question people have is about day care and masks. Is it going to mess up your child’s development to be around a bunch of people in masks all day? Isn’t it odd not to see people’s mouths?

But this extends to a wide variety of questions.

My kid’s day care says the kids over 3 have to wear masks? How will this even work?

Soccer camp is opening, but they can’t play big games. Isn’t that going to be odd?

School says if they come back the desks will be far apart and the classrooms will be “dedensified”. Huh? Did they make that word up?

(To the last question: yes, I think so, but as someone responsible for planning the reopening of a higher education institution, I can assure you this will not be the first or last time you hear the word “dedensificaton”. )

Basically, it’s all going to be weird. And the question is: is this a problem? I don’t have any great answers here, but I thought some perspective would be useful.

Regulations versus Reality

Let’s start with a level check. States and cities are going to write all kinds of COVID-19 related regulations, like requiring masks for all child care workers, saying that kids shouldn’t interact at recess, etc, etc, etc. States write a lot of rules like this in non-COVID-19 times. Providers are going to aim to adhere to them, and there will be some oversight (probably more now than in typical times). But there is likely to be some slippage. Things will inevitably look more “normal” than the stylized pictures that your state has posted on their re-open site.

Second, I think we will learn over time which of these regulations are realistic, which matter and how those interact. To give a concrete example. In a day care with young children, where kids touch everything and adults are (among other things) changing diapers, it seems extremely unlikely that having children wear masks will matter at all. Also, it is very hard to get young children to wear masks. It will result in them touching their faces a lot. This actually might make viral spread worse. Together, this will mean I think we’ll learn that this is a waste of time. Although regulations may start with this rule, I do not think it is likely to persist in practice.

On the other hand, some rules are likely to be easier to implement and much more important. To continue with the day care example: not sending your child to school sick is likely to matter a lot. If child care settings (day care, camp or school) can really stick to keeping sick kids out, this will impact viral spread. Yes, people can be asymptomatic, but those with symptoms tend to spread the virus more. Both parents and providers are going to need to be vigilant. I know that sometimes in the pre-COVID era one might be tempted to react to a kid with a fever of 100.2 (IT’s NOT OVER THE 100.4 LIMIT) by dosing them with Advil and sending them off. We cannot do this anymore.

I think we will learn this limit on sick kids and teachers is very important to keeping the virus at bay, but it’s also something which actually doesn’t really change the day to day experience. Going to school with kids who have borderline fever level is not a key element of child development.

All this is to say: there will be changes, but if you are imagining your child’s day care is going to be some dystopian 1984 style orphanage setting, that’s probably not right.

But Seriously, Will Masks Affect their Development?

This question has come up a lot in the case of day care and masks. Don’t babies need to see faces? Won’t toddlers be freaked out? What does the data say?

Like with much in the grand COVID-19 experiment, there is much that is unknown here. There is no precedent for a widespread switch to mask usage among day care providers. It is certainly true that some kids are afraid of masks (and beards and other face stuff). There are a few articles in the literature on, for example, perceptions that kids do not like seeing health care workers in hospitals in masks. But this is hardly relevant: surgical masks may well be scary to hospitalized kids due to the surrounding circumstances. And the fact that your kid freaked out at the trick-or-treater with the werewolf mask…again, not quite the same.

The real fear people seem to have is that somehow seeing the mouth is really central to learning about emotions. And there is some good news here. Americans are really into the mouth. But East Asian cultures are more into the eyes as indicating emotions (perhaps this is a result of higher mask usage in normal times, or maybe the causality goes the other way, but who knows). And there is actually some evidence that people in East Asian cultures are relatively more responsive to eye cues for happiness or sadness than mouth cues.

So, the upshot of all this may be that your kid will learn to read eye cues better than mouth cues. But there is really nothing wrong with that.

Adaptation

All of these questions — these worries — they all come down to basically a fear about things being different. And they will be. But this doesn’t necessarily mean they will be worse.

When I teach microeconomics, one of the main topics is indifference curves and budget sets. To illustrate this, I often talk about someone evaluating a move to a new place and thinking about whether they will be less happy. Let’s say you are considering moving from NY City to (rural) Hanover, New Hampshire. One way you could think about this is to say “Hey, I really love the Museum of Natural History. Let me compare this to the natural history museums in New Hampshire.” Or, “I’m really into Momofuku Noodle Bar. How good are the noodle bars in Hanover?”

If you do this, you’ll conclude that you will be a lot less happy in Hanover. I’m sure they have great noodles, but it’s not Momofuku.

BUT: there are all kinds of things you can have in Hanover that you cannot have in NY. Like a horse. Also, easy access to hiking. Also, a ski mountain more or less in your backyard. In the language of economics, we say that “your budget set has changed” and the result is that your optimal consumption bundle is different. Basically, your happiest life in New Hampshire probably involves hiking and skiing and growing a vegetable garden, not going to Momofuku.

But it is possible you can be equally happy in the two places! And the reason is that you adapt to changing circumstances by changing what you do.

When we think about moving to a “new normal” with masks and dedensified classrooms and all the rest, it is easy to think about what is lost. And, to be fair, it probably will not be as good if our kids have to go to school only half the days in the fall. But we will adapt to many of these changes, and because of that they are not likely to feel anywhere near as bad as you fear. If your kid is only in school 8 to 12 in the fall, there will be some nice things about the afternoon. It is hard to see now, but that’s how adaptation is.

Rhode Island’s governor, Gina Raimondo, who I adore (in addition to being the governor she is also my neighbor and didn’t get mad when one of our tree limbs crushed her fence) has been talking a lot about the “new normal”. I like this phrase, since it accurately implies what is true. It will be new. But, it will start to feel normal.

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I hear from many of you that the information on ParentData makes you feel seen. Wherever you are on your journey, it’s always helpful to know you’re not alone. 

Drop an emoji in the comments that best describes your pregnancy or parenting searches lately… 💤🚽🍻🎒💩

I hear from many of you that the information on ParentData makes you feel seen. Wherever you are on your journey, it’s always helpful to know you’re not alone.

Drop an emoji in the comments that best describes your pregnancy or parenting searches lately… 💤🚽🍻🎒💩
...

Milestones. We celebrate them in pregnancy, in parenting, and they’re a fun thing to celebrate at work too. Just a couple years ago I couldn’t have foreseen what this community would grow into. Today, there are over 400,000 of you here—asking questions, making others feel seen wherever they may be in their journey, and sharing information that supports data > panic. 

It has been a busy summer for the team at ParentData. I’d love to take a moment here to celebrate the 400k milestone. As I’ve said before, it’s more important than ever to put good data in the hands of parents. 

Share this post with a friend who could use a little more data, and a little less parenting overwhelm. 

📷 Me and my oldest, collaborating on “Expecting Better”

Milestones. We celebrate them in pregnancy, in parenting, and they’re a fun thing to celebrate at work too. Just a couple years ago I couldn’t have foreseen what this community would grow into. Today, there are over 400,000 of you here—asking questions, making others feel seen wherever they may be in their journey, and sharing information that supports data > panic.

It has been a busy summer for the team at ParentData. I’d love to take a moment here to celebrate the 400k milestone. As I’ve said before, it’s more important than ever to put good data in the hands of parents.

Share this post with a friend who could use a little more data, and a little less parenting overwhelm.

📷 Me and my oldest, collaborating on “Expecting Better”
...

I spend a lot of time talking people down after they read the latest panic headline. In most cases, these articles create an unnecessary amount of stress around pregnancy and parenting. This is my pro tip for understanding whether the risk presented is something you should really be worrying about.

Comment “link” for an article with other tools to help you navigate risk and uncertainty.

#emilyoster #parentdata #riskmanagement #parentstruggles #parentingstruggles

I spend a lot of time talking people down after they read the latest panic headline. In most cases, these articles create an unnecessary amount of stress around pregnancy and parenting. This is my pro tip for understanding whether the risk presented is something you should really be worrying about.

Comment “link” for an article with other tools to help you navigate risk and uncertainty.

#emilyoster #parentdata #riskmanagement #parentstruggles #parentingstruggles
...

Here’s why I think you don’t have to throw away your baby bottles.

Here’s why I think you don’t have to throw away your baby bottles. ...

Drop your toddlers favorite thing right now in the comments—then grab some popcorn.

Original thread source: Reddit @croc_docs

Drop your toddlers favorite thing right now in the comments—then grab some popcorn.

Original thread source: Reddit @croc_docs
...

Just keep wiping.

Just keep wiping. ...

Dr. Gillian Goddard sums up what she learned from the Hot Flash  S e x  Survey! Here are some key data takeaways:

🌶️ Among respondents, the most common s e x u a l frequency was 1 to 2 times per month, followed closely by 1 to 2 times per week
🌶️ 37% have found their sweet spot and are happy with the frequency of s e x they are having
🌶️ About 64% of respondents were very or somewhat satisfied with the quality of the s e x they are having

Do any of these findings surprise you? Let us know in the comments!

#hotflash #intimacy #midlifepleasure #parentdata #relationships

Dr. Gillian Goddard sums up what she learned from the Hot Flash S e x Survey! Here are some key data takeaways:

🌶️ Among respondents, the most common s e x u a l frequency was 1 to 2 times per month, followed closely by 1 to 2 times per week
🌶️ 37% have found their sweet spot and are happy with the frequency of s e x they are having
🌶️ About 64% of respondents were very or somewhat satisfied with the quality of the s e x they are having

Do any of these findings surprise you? Let us know in the comments!

#hotflash #intimacy #midlifepleasure #parentdata #relationships
...

Should your kid be in a car seat on the plane? The AAP recommends that you put kids under 40 pounds into a car seat on airplanes. However, airlines don’t require car seats.

Here’s what we know from a data standpoint:
✈️ The risk of injury to a child on a plane without a carseat is very small (about 1 in 250,000)
✈️ A JAMA Pediatrics paper estimates about 0.4 child air crash deaths per year might be prevented in the U.S. with car seats 
✈️ Cars are far more dangerous than airplanes! The same JAMA paper suggests that if 5% to 10% of families switched to driving, then we would expect more total deaths as a result of this policy. 

If you want to buy a seat for your lap infant, or bring a car seat for an older child, by all means do so! But the additional protection based on the numbers is extremely small.

#parentdata #emilyoster #flyingwithkids #flyingwithbaby #carseats #carseatsafety

Should your kid be in a car seat on the plane? The AAP recommends that you put kids under 40 pounds into a car seat on airplanes. However, airlines don’t require car seats.

Here’s what we know from a data standpoint:
✈️ The risk of injury to a child on a plane without a carseat is very small (about 1 in 250,000)
✈️ A JAMA Pediatrics paper estimates about 0.4 child air crash deaths per year might be prevented in the U.S. with car seats
✈️ Cars are far more dangerous than airplanes! The same JAMA paper suggests that if 5% to 10% of families switched to driving, then we would expect more total deaths as a result of this policy.

If you want to buy a seat for your lap infant, or bring a car seat for an older child, by all means do so! But the additional protection based on the numbers is extremely small.

#parentdata #emilyoster #flyingwithkids #flyingwithbaby #carseats #carseatsafety
...

SLEEP DATA 💤 PART 2: Let’s talk about naps. Comment “Link” for an article on what we learned about daytime sleep!

The first three months of life are a chaotic combination of irregular napping, many naps, and a few brave or lucky souls who appear to have already arrived at a two-to-three nap schedule. Over the next few months, the naps consolidate to three and then to two. By the 10-to-12-month period, a very large share of kids are napping a consistent two naps per day. Over the period between 12 and 18 months, this shifts toward one nap. And then sometime in the range of 3 to 5 years, naps are dropped. What I think is perhaps most useful about this graph is it gives a lot of color to the average napping ages that we often hear. 

Note: Survey data came from the ParentData audience and users of the Nanit sleep monitor system. Both audiences skew higher-education and higher-income than the average, and mostly have younger children. The final sample is 14,919 children. For more insights on our respondents, read the full article.

SLEEP DATA 💤 PART 2: Let’s talk about naps. Comment “Link” for an article on what we learned about daytime sleep!

The first three months of life are a chaotic combination of irregular napping, many naps, and a few brave or lucky souls who appear to have already arrived at a two-to-three nap schedule. Over the next few months, the naps consolidate to three and then to two. By the 10-to-12-month period, a very large share of kids are napping a consistent two naps per day. Over the period between 12 and 18 months, this shifts toward one nap. And then sometime in the range of 3 to 5 years, naps are dropped. What I think is perhaps most useful about this graph is it gives a lot of color to the average napping ages that we often hear.

Note: Survey data came from the ParentData audience and users of the Nanit sleep monitor system. Both audiences skew higher-education and higher-income than the average, and mostly have younger children. The final sample is 14,919 children. For more insights on our respondents, read the full article.
...

Happy Father’s Day to the Fathers and Father figures in our ParentData community! 

Tag a Dad who this holiday may be tricky for. We’re sending you love. 💛

Happy Father’s Day to the Fathers and Father figures in our ParentData community!

Tag a Dad who this holiday may be tricky for. We’re sending you love. 💛
...

“Whilst googling things like ‘new dad sad’ and ‘why am I crying new dad,’ I came across an article written by a doctor who had trouble connecting with his second child. I read the symptoms and felt an odd sense of relief.” Today we’re bringing back an essay by Kevin Maguire of @newfatherhood about his experience with paternal postpartum depression. We need to demystify these issues in order to change things for the better. Comment “Link” for a DM to read his full essay.

#parentdata #postpartum #postpartumdepression #paternalmentalhealth #newparents #emilyoster

“Whilst googling things like ‘new dad sad’ and ‘why am I crying new dad,’ I came across an article written by a doctor who had trouble connecting with his second child. I read the symptoms and felt an odd sense of relief.” Today we’re bringing back an essay by Kevin Maguire of @newfatherhood about his experience with paternal postpartum depression. We need to demystify these issues in order to change things for the better. Comment “Link” for a DM to read his full essay.

#parentdata #postpartum #postpartumdepression #paternalmentalhealth #newparents #emilyoster
...

What does the data say about children who look more like one parent? Do they also inherit more character traits and mannerisms from that parent? Let’s talk about it 🔎

#emilyoster #parentdata #parentingcommunity #lookslikedaddy #lookslikemommy

What does the data say about children who look more like one parent? Do they also inherit more character traits and mannerisms from that parent? Let’s talk about it 🔎

#emilyoster #parentdata #parentingcommunity #lookslikedaddy #lookslikemommy
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SLEEP DATA 💤 We asked you all about your kids’ sleep—and got nearly 15,000 survey responses to better understand kids’ sleep patterns. Comment “Link” for an article that breaks down our findings!

This graph shows sleeping location by age. You’ll notice that for the first three months, most kids are in their own sleeping location in a parent’s room. Then, over the first year, this switches toward their own room. As kids age, sharing a room with a sibling becomes more common. 

Head to the newsletter for more and stay tuned for part two next week on naps! 🌙

#parentdata #emilyoster #childsleep #babysleep #parentingcommunity

SLEEP DATA 💤 We asked you all about your kids’ sleep—and got nearly 15,000 survey responses to better understand kids’ sleep patterns. Comment “Link” for an article that breaks down our findings!

This graph shows sleeping location by age. You’ll notice that for the first three months, most kids are in their own sleeping location in a parent’s room. Then, over the first year, this switches toward their own room. As kids age, sharing a room with a sibling becomes more common.

Head to the newsletter for more and stay tuned for part two next week on naps! 🌙

#parentdata #emilyoster #childsleep #babysleep #parentingcommunity
...

Weekends are good for extra cups of ☕️ and listening to podcasts. I asked our team how they pod—most people said on walks or during chores. What about you?

Comment “Link” to subscribe to ParentData with Emily Oster, joined by some excellent guests.

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #parentingpodcast #parentingtips #emilyoster

Weekends are good for extra cups of ☕️ and listening to podcasts. I asked our team how they pod—most people said on walks or during chores. What about you?

Comment “Link” to subscribe to ParentData with Emily Oster, joined by some excellent guests.

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #parentingpodcast #parentingtips #emilyoster
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