Emily Oster

4 min Read Emily Oster

Emily Oster

Wins, Woes, and “Overly” Affectionate Children

Your stories for the week

Emily Oster

4 min Read

Wins and Woes is our community newsletter — a place for your stories and questions, where you can connect directly with other ParentData readers. 


This week we have three of your stories, along with a question about an affectionate kid. 

For Pride Month, we’d like to hear from our LGBTQIA+ community members who are parenting, trying to conceive, or navigating big family decisions. We want to hear your wins, woes, and questions! Send an email to ask@parentdata.org — with a photo, if you’re comfortable — and we’ll share some responses in a future newsletter.

As always, this is your space, so please leave a comment for any of your fellow readers.

A Perfect Flight

We survived our very first flight with our very first baby! Our return flight was on his six-month birthday. I was so nervous pre-departure and did all my research about flying with breast milk, baby’s ID, and ticketing, gate-checking gear, keeping him busy in-flight with toys, and keeping him comfy on ascent and descent. Everything went smoothly and uneventfully (probably mostly due to feeling like my “homework” was done beforehand, so if anything did come up I would at least be familiar with the procedure), so now I feel better practiced for our next trip, or at the very least have the data to know I’ve done it before so I can do it again.

Happy Helper

This morning, I was wiping off the table and countertops after the kids had finished spreading their crumbs and jam. As I did, my 3-year-old daughter came up beside me with a paper towel of her own and proceeded to help. I thanked her and praised her for making the morning smoother as she continued to wipe down everything — cabinets, floors, and all surfaces in her reach.

Dear friends, it was not a paper towel.

It was a dirty wipe she had retrieved from the pull-up pail.

Potty Celebration

Potty “learning” has become a power struggle between us and our obstinate 3-year-old. Last night, amid a string of requests before bedtime, she insisted on sitting on the potty. I tried a new technique of “giving her space,” mostly because I’d grown so frustrated and tired of sitting with her in the bathroom. As I waited for her to finish outside of the bathroom, she came around the corner with a pull-up and pj’s already on and a giant smile. “I pooped in the potty!” she exclaimed. Thinking she must be confusing poop with pee, I disregarded her enthusiasm. I walked into the bathroom and, to my astonishment, she had indeed pooped, wiped, and washed her hands alone. Needless to say, our bedtime routine was interrupted by a giant celebration; we were all so happy to celebrate with her and share in her delight, as she has been trying for so long to do this on her own.

This week’s reader question

One question I have for other parents is if they have any recommendations for curbing an “overly” affectionate child without diminishing their affectionate nature. Our 3-year-old gives us kisses and hugs at bedtime, in the mornings, and when he leaves for school. I love his cuddles and wouldn’t want them to stop with us at home. However, his friends at school don’t want hugs and kisses from him, and it’s creating some issues. I’ve tried explaining to him that some people need space, and we’ve tried high fives or knuckle bumps instead, but his default remains hugs and kisses. Is this just a phase?

A drawing of a small child wearing a shirt with "hugs" written on it and a superhero cape while standing on a school desk.
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