Emily Oster

6 min Read Emily Oster

It was an eventful year. The biggest milestone for me was the August publication of The Family Firm, which was in the works from pre-pandemic times. Launching a book during the pandemic was weird, but I came to (sort of) like Zoom book talks. And launching a book from a newsletter platform — where I get to interact more in real time with readers — was nothing but good.

The Family Firm is really, in the end, two books. On one hand, it’s a book about data. There’s data on sleep, screens, nutrition. I’ll link to some posts on those topics below. That part of the book is a true follow-up to Expecting Better and Cribsheet. It’s data-forward, even if the data on older kids is sometimes even less compelling and complete than for babies.

On the other hand, much of the book is about decision-making, about family-life structure, about managing a world with competing or complementary values and complicated logistics. I’ve also written about those parts of the book: the decision tools, creating a big-picture schedule, using the workbooks (see them below!). Since this is mostly a roundup, there are lots of links, including to other resources I found helpful. But before getting into that, I wanted to suggest two simple exercises, inspired by ideas in The Family Firm, that you might find useful.

Exercise 1: One conflict

At its core, much of the guidance in The Family Firm is rooted in the concept that if you think more deliberately about the choices you make — think about them all at once, holistically — you can better understand how they interact and, thus, better prioritize. This is the idea behind the worksheets. Write down how you actually want your day to look, and that will help you realize you cannot both do club gymnastics four nights a week and also have dinner as a family every day.

But there is a simpler, baby step toward this. Here it is.

Identify the most significant source of logistics-related conflict in your house in the past two weeks. Now think about how it could have gone better.

In many cases, conflicts arise that could be avoided with even a tiny amount of planning. For example: the person who shared with me that the most significant conflict source between them and their partner was arguing every day about who would pick up their child at day care. The change they made was to agree on a schedule at the start of the week. This is a tiny change! But actually, it made a difference. And if you didn’t reflect on it, you might not know it would.

Another example: your child frequently forgets something, and you have to either bring it to school or run after them with it. You cannot understand why they cannot remember things. They are defensive. There is a lot of yelling. Maybe this happened twice last week, and it’s on your mind. Is there a solution here? I can think of a few. One is a checklist system before leaving the house. Another is to organize at night, so there is no need to in the morning. These are little changes, but little can be big.

Sometimes changes are larger and more important. When my daughter was a baby, my husband and I had a very unpleasant daily commute, which during rush hour ranged between 45 minutes and an hour. I was committed to getting home by a certain time, and this meant sometimes leaving work early in unpredictable ways. Jesse was deeply unhappy with the unpredictability, and the car rides — which were among the few times we were alone together — were a source of conflict rather than conversation. In the end, we decided the conflict was too much and we started commuting separately. And, ultimately, we moved. These were bigger changes, but they reflected the really significant costs of conflict.

Exercise 2: One rose, one thorn

This is a shorter one. In the book, there is an exercise around having everyone in the family write down the top three things they would like to do every day, or every week. I propose you do a very simple version of that.

Ask everyone to state the one (regular, typical) activity they did last week that they would be sad not to get to do next week. Ask them also to say one thing they did that they wouldn’t be sorry to see go.  

There are no clear action items from this. The value of this exercise is simply to say what the activities are that we most value, and that there are some we could let go of without feeling a loss. Where you take it from there is up to you.

Hopefully, one (or both) of these exercises resonates. If you try them, send feedback! The new year is a good time to regroup.

Now, in the Roundup spirit, here are a few longer-form posts on Family Firm, along with other resources.

Newsletter posts: Older-child data

Newsletter posts: Decision-making parts

Other resources

  • Tom Phelan’s The Manager Mom Epidemic. I got a lot out of this book, and it influenced my thinking. The best parts are about the idea of “total responsibility transfer”: transferring the whole task to someone else, not just a part.
  • Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play. Excellent tools for managing household loads and, effectively, surfacing inequities in who does what, in a productive way.
  • Asana. For task management. You know you want to assign tasks to your partner, admit it!
  • Family Firm workbook pages In case they’re useful for planning.
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Parenting with The Family Firm

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Happy fall, everyone! What parenting moments do you look forward to (or dread) when the season changes? Let me know in the comments 🍂

#daylightsavings #parentingtips #parentinghumor #fallactivities #emilyoster

Happy fall, everyone! What parenting moments do you look forward to (or dread) when the season changes? Let me know in the comments 🍂

#daylightsavings #parentingtips #parentinghumor #fallactivities #emilyoster
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Curious about the role of midwives in childbirth? Today on the ParentData Podcast, we have Ann Ledbetter help us dive into all things midwives—exploring their unique approaches, the impact on birth outcomes, and what makes midwife care distinct.

Listen to this episode now and subscribe to ParentData with Emily Oster in your favorite podcast app 🎧

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #midwives #midwifery #epidural #emilyoster

Curious about the role of midwives in childbirth? Today on the ParentData Podcast, we have Ann Ledbetter help us dive into all things midwives—exploring their unique approaches, the impact on birth outcomes, and what makes midwife care distinct.

Listen to this episode now and subscribe to ParentData with Emily Oster in your favorite podcast app 🎧

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #midwives #midwifery #epidural #emilyoster
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#TheUnexpected gives tools to better understand and help the parents you love. Link in bio to learn more about the book! If you’ve read it, what stuck out most to you? Share in the comments below 💛

#emilyoster #pregnancycomplications #parentingcommunity #parentingsupport

Parenthood isn’t something anyone should navigate alone. It’s about showing up for the moms, dads, and families in your circle—especially when things don’t go as planned. Whether it’s a pregnancy complication or the challenges of postpartum life, we can all play a part in supporting each other.

#TheUnexpected gives tools to better understand and help the parents you love. Link in bio to learn more about the book! If you’ve read it, what stuck out most to you? Share in the comments below 💛

#emilyoster #pregnancycomplications #parentingcommunity #parentingsupport
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 A little soap or mold from toys isn’t harmful, and diluted pee is no big deal. Eating a lot of poop can make you sick, but in small amounts, it isn’t toxic.

Bottom line: Bathwater isn’t your kid’s best drink option, but don’t stress too much! Just keep an eye on them during bathtime for safety. 

#kidsbathtime #bathtoys #bathtimefuntime #emilyoster #parentdata

💧 Is your kid drinking bathwater? Here’s the 411: It’s gross but not dangerous! Comment “Link” for my full guide to bathtime.

A little soap or mold from toys isn’t harmful, and diluted pee is no big deal. Eating a lot of poop can make you sick, but in small amounts, it isn’t toxic.

Bottom line: Bathwater isn’t your kid’s best drink option, but don’t stress too much! Just keep an eye on them during bathtime for safety.

#kidsbathtime #bathtoys #bathtimefuntime #emilyoster #parentdata
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A study shows just how deep the gender divide runs when it comes to household labor—even in something as simple as a phone call. Does this ring true for you? Share your experience in the comments 👇

#gendergap #momstruggles #parentsupport #emilyoster #parentdata

Why is it that schools always call mom, even when dad’s the one with more availability? Comment “Link” to dive into the data on inequality in parental workloads.

A study shows just how deep the gender divide runs when it comes to household labor—even in something as simple as a phone call. Does this ring true for you? Share your experience in the comments 👇

#gendergap #momstruggles #parentsupport #emilyoster #parentdata
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Is your child getting enough sleep? 💤 Kids need 9-11 hours of rest for better focus, behavior, and health. Comment “Link” for an article on the importance of sleep and how to help your kids get more of it. It’s time to make sleep a priority!

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Share this with a mom you think is doing great!

#parentdata #emilyoster #motherhood #barbiemovie

Here’s my rant on motherhood inspired by the Barbie movie. Motherhood is hard enough without the unsolicited expectations we’re constantly assigned. As I always say, there is no secret option c. You’re doing great, and I hope you know that!

Share this with a mom you think is doing great!

#parentdata #emilyoster #motherhood #barbiemovie
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#parentdata #emilyoster #panicheadline #datadriven #riskmanagement #parentingstruggles

Ever seen a headline that makes your heart race, but when you dig deeper, the study behind it doesn’t hold up? That’s a panic headline! It’s designed to grab attention and spark fear, but the research it’s based on is often weak or irrelevant. Next time you see one, take a breath, look closer, and don’t let sensationalism get you stressed out.

What’s the most recent panic headline you’ve seen? Drop it in the comments and let’s break it down together! ⬇️

#parentdata #emilyoster #panicheadline #datadriven #riskmanagement #parentingstruggles
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Is constant phone access impacting your child’s development? 📵 Today on the ParentData podcast, listen to @profemilyoster and @jonathanhaidt discuss the impact of phones and social media on learning and child mental health.

Listen to this episode now and subscribe to ParentData with Emily Oster in your favorite podcast app 🎧

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #theanxiousgeneration #kidsmentalhealth #screentime #jonathanhaidt #emilyoster

Is constant phone access impacting your child’s development? 📵 Today on the ParentData podcast, listen to @profemilyoster and @jonathanhaidt discuss the impact of phones and social media on learning and child mental health.

Listen to this episode now and subscribe to ParentData with Emily Oster in your favorite podcast app 🎧

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #theanxiousgeneration #kidsmentalhealth #screentime #jonathanhaidt #emilyoster
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This is a sneak peek from the Saturday newsletter on ParentData. Want more parenting tips and insights? Subscribe now at the link in bio.

#parentdata #emilyoster #parentingadvice #parentingtips #parentingquotes #parentingishard

Here’s your Monday reminder for the start of the school year: You’re doing a great job, rice bunnies or not!

This is a sneak peek from the Saturday newsletter on ParentData. Want more parenting tips and insights? Subscribe now at the link in bio.

#parentdata #emilyoster #parentingadvice #parentingtips #parentingquotes #parentingishard
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#parentdata #refluxbaby #babyreflux #spitup #parentingadvice #emilyoster

Reflux: It’s more common than you think! Comment “Link” for an article by @thepediatricianmom breaking down the information we have about reflux — what it is, what you can do, and red flags to look out for.

This graph shows how reflux changes with age. Nearly half of all babies experience reflux by 3 months, often peaking around 4 months before improving by their first birthday. And remember, if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. The most effective treatment for infant reflux is time. It will get better!

#parentdata #refluxbaby #babyreflux #spitup #parentingadvice #emilyoster
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Here are some things to keep in mind:
🚽 It takes longer than three days (based on the data!)
🚽 Your child will have trouble staying dry at night.
🚽 Poop sometimes comes later than pee – this is common, you just have to work through it.

Comment “Link” for an article that breaks down potty training data from ParentData readers,  along with helpful tips and tricks.

#pottytraining #pottytrainingtips #pottytrainingproblems #parentdata #emilyoster

We’re heading into a three-day weekend, which means a lot of you might take the opportunity to do some potty training.

Here are some things to keep in mind:
🚽 It takes longer than three days (based on the data!)
🚽 Your child will have trouble staying dry at night.
🚽 Poop sometimes comes later than pee – this is common, you just have to work through it.

Comment “Link” for an article that breaks down potty training data from ParentData readers, along with helpful tips and tricks.

#pottytraining #pottytrainingtips #pottytrainingproblems #parentdata #emilyoster
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#parentdata #emilyoster #trampolinepark #childsafety #trampolinefun

Trampoline parks: great way to get the sillies out or injury haven? Or both? Comment “Link” for an article breaking down a 2023 study on injury trends in trampoline parks.

Here’s a visualisation based on the paper, showing the injury rate by area. Beware the foam pit and the high-performance areas! Slam-dunking, though, seems fine.

#parentdata #emilyoster #trampolinepark #childsafety #trampolinefun
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I’m teaming up with @Wholefoods to remind you that even though school lunches can be tricky, they have everything you need, from conventional to organic, to give you peace of mind about the foods your kids eat. Through their rigorous Quality Standards, they ban 300+ ingredients from food. 

Does your kid have any special or weird lunch requests? Share in the comments! Tap the link in my bio for more tips and inspiration #WholeFoodsMarket

I’m teaming up with @Wholefoods to remind you that even though school lunches can be tricky, they have everything you need, from conventional to organic, to give you peace of mind about the foods your kids eat. Through their rigorous Quality Standards, they ban 300+ ingredients from food.

Does your kid have any special or weird lunch requests? Share in the comments! Tap the link in my bio for more tips and inspiration #WholeFoodsMarket
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#travelwithkids #jetlag #melatonin #parentingtips #parentdata #emilyoster

Travel is already stressful. Add kids to the equation, and it becomes even more complicated. Here are 3 tips and considerations for handling jet lag in kids.

#travelwithkids #jetlag #melatonin #parentingtips #parentdata #emilyoster
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