Emily Oster

5 min Read Emily Oster

Emily Oster

The Family Firm Is Out Tuesday!

More adventures in parenting with data

Emily Oster

5 min Read

People say publishing a book is like having a baby. This is true in the sense that both take a long time, you care a lot about them and you want other people to like them. Books are quieter, though, and they rarely poop on you, so it’s not a perfect analogy. But there is an anticipation that I, at least, have felt both before book publishing and before my kids. That something will change — maybe a little, maybe a lot — and that’s both exiting and scary.

I have that feeling now, with The Family Firm coming out Tuesday. If you haven’t preordered, here’s a button for you to do so…

If you want a little taste, the New York Times published an excerpt this weekend and on Tuesday I’ll publish an bit more here, on the question of kindergarten redshirting. Today, though, I wanted to write a little bit about how I got here, and why I’m so excited about this book.

The Backstory

I had not intended to be a writer of books. I wrote Expecting Better out of a sense of frustration and urgency, a feeling that somehow people needed this information, that with it they could have a better understanding of their pregnancy. After Expecting Better came out, I went back to my regular job as a professor. Some people bought the book, but honestly not that many.

I wrote more papers. I did more teaching. I tried to get tenure at my job, and failed. I got tenure at another place. I moved. I did different teaching. I had another kid. I got promoted again. I wrote a few more papers. Basically, I was a professor who one time did this weird thing and wrote a book for pregnant people.

But I was lucky. Some people liked the book. And they told their friends. And some of their friends liked it. And they told their friends. And rather than fading into the background, Expecting Better sold more than it had at first. One day, the opportunity came up to write Cribsheet, to take these same data tools to early childhood. It came at a moment I felt ready to do it, when the younger of my kids was just aging out of the relevant age range.

Cribsheet was a natural extension of Expecting Better. Both books have a strong data-forward focus. There is an underlying point that the data can’t make your decisions for you, that your family preferences matter, but for many decisions, the data really, really helps.

After Cribsheet I insisted I wasn’t going to do a book about older kids. As I explained to various people who asked: older kids are more variable (I used the word “heterogenous”). The problems families face are really different. Each kid requires a different answer. And, the data isn’t usually enough. I had determined that this third book wasn’t really in the cards.

The existence of The Family Firm, then, is largely a result of my agent and editor, who got together (behind my back!) to discuss.

“Isn’t there ANY interesting data?,” they asked. “Couldn’t you craft a book around what we do have?”

So I looked into it. There was some data — some of it really fascinating. I will not spoil it for you, but perhaps my favorite part of the new book is the evidence on how kids learn to read.

As I read the data, and thought, and reflected, the book came into focus. Yes, there was data, but there was more wrapping needed. I thought about how our family uses data like this to make decisions, about the decision processes and structures we layer on top of it. In the end, The Family Firm is really (I think) two books. It’s a book on data for older kids, much of it quite interesting. And it’s a book on how to structure your family decision-making to make everything run more smoothly, to make you happier. This first part is, really, a business book. Where the business is parenting.

This book was much harder to write, to organize, than the other two. But I love it, and I hope you will too.

A final note. I have realized that a lot of this book is a love letter to Jesse. It is a tremendous privilege to fall in love with someone at 20, to build a life with them, and to be able to count on them to toast with you when things are good, and to hold you up when they are hard. The last couple of years have brought a lot of challenges, some of which go well beyond COVID, and Jesse simply never wavers. The decision-making tools in this book were all built together. In fairness, he probably deserves half the royalties. But since we keep separate bank accounts, I’m just going to buy him a fancy bottle of rye and call it a day.

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Paperback out tomorrow! And an activity for you

Emily Oster

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Do men really get worse colds? Not really, but they definitely think so! 

#mancold #perceptionvsreality #sickday #staystrong #emilyoster

Do men really get worse colds? Not really, but they definitely think so!

#mancold #perceptionvsreality #sickday #staystrong #emilyoster
...

💧 Is your kid drinking bathwater? Here’s the 411: It’s gross but not dangerous! Comment “Link” for my full guide to bathtime.

 A little soap or mold from toys isn’t harmful, and diluted pee is no big deal. Eating a lot of poop can make you sick, but in small amounts, it isn’t toxic.

Bottom line: Bathwater isn’t your kid’s best drink option, but don’t stress too much! Just keep an eye on them during bathtime for safety. 

#kidsbathtime #bathtoys #bathtimefuntime #emilyoster #parentdata

💧 Is your kid drinking bathwater? Here’s the 411: It’s gross but not dangerous! Comment “Link” for my full guide to bathtime.

A little soap or mold from toys isn’t harmful, and diluted pee is no big deal. Eating a lot of poop can make you sick, but in small amounts, it isn’t toxic.

Bottom line: Bathwater isn’t your kid’s best drink option, but don’t stress too much! Just keep an eye on them during bathtime for safety.

#kidsbathtime #bathtoys #bathtimefuntime #emilyoster #parentdata
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Why is it that schools always call mom, even when dad’s the one with more availability? Comment “Link” to dive into the data on inequality in parental workloads.

A study shows just how deep the gender divide runs when it comes to household labor—even in something as simple as a phone call. Does this ring true for you? Share your experience in the comments 👇

#gendergap #momstruggles #parentsupport #emilyoster #parentdata

Why is it that schools always call mom, even when dad’s the one with more availability? Comment “Link” to dive into the data on inequality in parental workloads.

A study shows just how deep the gender divide runs when it comes to household labor—even in something as simple as a phone call. Does this ring true for you? Share your experience in the comments 👇

#gendergap #momstruggles #parentsupport #emilyoster #parentdata
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Is your child getting enough sleep? 💤 Kids need 9-11 hours of rest for better focus, behavior, and health. Comment “Link” for an article on the importance of sleep and how to help your kids get more of it. It’s time to make sleep a priority!

#childsleep #childhooddevelopment #parentingtips #emilyoster #parentdata

Is your child getting enough sleep? 💤 Kids need 9-11 hours of rest for better focus, behavior, and health. Comment “Link” for an article on the importance of sleep and how to help your kids get more of it. It’s time to make sleep a priority!

#childsleep #childhooddevelopment #parentingtips #emilyoster #parentdata
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Here’s my rant on motherhood inspired by the Barbie movie. Motherhood is hard enough without the unsolicited expectations we’re constantly assigned. As I always say, there is no secret option c. You’re doing great, and I hope you know that! 

Share this with a mom you think is doing great!

#parentdata #emilyoster #motherhood #barbiemovie

Here’s my rant on motherhood inspired by the Barbie movie. Motherhood is hard enough without the unsolicited expectations we’re constantly assigned. As I always say, there is no secret option c. You’re doing great, and I hope you know that!

Share this with a mom you think is doing great!

#parentdata #emilyoster #motherhood #barbiemovie
...

Ever seen a headline that makes your heart race, but when you dig deeper, the study behind it doesn’t hold up? That’s a panic headline! It’s designed to grab attention and spark fear, but the research it’s based on is often weak or irrelevant. Next time you see one, take a breath, look closer, and don’t let sensationalism get you stressed out.

What’s the most recent panic headline you’ve seen? Drop it in the comments and let’s break it down together! ⬇️

#parentdata #emilyoster #panicheadline #datadriven #riskmanagement #parentingstruggles

Ever seen a headline that makes your heart race, but when you dig deeper, the study behind it doesn’t hold up? That’s a panic headline! It’s designed to grab attention and spark fear, but the research it’s based on is often weak or irrelevant. Next time you see one, take a breath, look closer, and don’t let sensationalism get you stressed out.

What’s the most recent panic headline you’ve seen? Drop it in the comments and let’s break it down together! ⬇️

#parentdata #emilyoster #panicheadline #datadriven #riskmanagement #parentingstruggles
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Is constant phone access impacting your child’s development? 📵 Today on the ParentData podcast, listen to @profemilyoster and @jonathanhaidt discuss the impact of phones and social media on learning and child mental health.

Listen to this episode now and subscribe to ParentData with Emily Oster in your favorite podcast app 🎧

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #theanxiousgeneration #kidsmentalhealth #screentime #jonathanhaidt #emilyoster

Is constant phone access impacting your child’s development? 📵 Today on the ParentData podcast, listen to @profemilyoster and @jonathanhaidt discuss the impact of phones and social media on learning and child mental health.

Listen to this episode now and subscribe to ParentData with Emily Oster in your favorite podcast app 🎧

#parentdata #parentdatapodcast #theanxiousgeneration #kidsmentalhealth #screentime #jonathanhaidt #emilyoster
...

Here’s your Monday reminder for the start of the school year: You’re doing a great job, rice bunnies or not!

This is a sneak peek from the Saturday newsletter on ParentData. Want more parenting tips and insights? Subscribe now at the link in bio.

#parentdata #emilyoster #parentingadvice #parentingtips #parentingquotes #parentingishard

Here’s your Monday reminder for the start of the school year: You’re doing a great job, rice bunnies or not!

This is a sneak peek from the Saturday newsletter on ParentData. Want more parenting tips and insights? Subscribe now at the link in bio.

#parentdata #emilyoster #parentingadvice #parentingtips #parentingquotes #parentingishard
...

Reflux: It’s more common than you think! Comment “Link” for an article by @thepediatricianmom breaking down the information we have about reflux — what it is, what you can do, and red flags to look out for.

This graph shows how reflux changes with age. Nearly half of all babies experience reflux by 3 months, often peaking around 4 months before improving by their first birthday. And remember, if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. The most effective treatment for infant reflux is time. It will get better!

#parentdata #refluxbaby #babyreflux #spitup #parentingadvice #emilyoster

Reflux: It’s more common than you think! Comment “Link” for an article by @thepediatricianmom breaking down the information we have about reflux — what it is, what you can do, and red flags to look out for.

This graph shows how reflux changes with age. Nearly half of all babies experience reflux by 3 months, often peaking around 4 months before improving by their first birthday. And remember, if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. The most effective treatment for infant reflux is time. It will get better!

#parentdata #refluxbaby #babyreflux #spitup #parentingadvice #emilyoster
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We’re heading into a three-day weekend, which means a lot of you might take the opportunity to do some potty training. 

Here are some things to keep in mind:
🚽 It takes longer than three days (based on the data!)
🚽 Your child will have trouble staying dry at night.
🚽 Poop sometimes comes later than pee – this is common, you just have to work through it.

Comment “Link” for an article that breaks down potty training data from ParentData readers,  along with helpful tips and tricks.

#pottytraining #pottytrainingtips #pottytrainingproblems #parentdata #emilyoster

We’re heading into a three-day weekend, which means a lot of you might take the opportunity to do some potty training.

Here are some things to keep in mind:
🚽 It takes longer than three days (based on the data!)
🚽 Your child will have trouble staying dry at night.
🚽 Poop sometimes comes later than pee – this is common, you just have to work through it.

Comment “Link” for an article that breaks down potty training data from ParentData readers, along with helpful tips and tricks.

#pottytraining #pottytrainingtips #pottytrainingproblems #parentdata #emilyoster
...

Trampoline parks: great way to get the sillies out or injury haven? Or both? Comment “Link” for an article breaking down a 2023 study on injury trends in trampoline parks.

Here’s a visualisation based on the paper, showing the injury rate by area. Beware the foam pit and the high-performance areas! Slam-dunking, though, seems fine.

#parentdata #emilyoster #trampolinepark #childsafety #trampolinefun

Trampoline parks: great way to get the sillies out or injury haven? Or both? Comment “Link” for an article breaking down a 2023 study on injury trends in trampoline parks.

Here’s a visualisation based on the paper, showing the injury rate by area. Beware the foam pit and the high-performance areas! Slam-dunking, though, seems fine.

#parentdata #emilyoster #trampolinepark #childsafety #trampolinefun
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I’m teaming up with @Wholefoods to remind you that even though school lunches can be tricky, they have everything you need, from conventional to organic, to give you peace of mind about the foods your kids eat. Through their rigorous Quality Standards, they ban 300+ ingredients from food. 

Does your kid have any special or weird lunch requests? Share in the comments! Tap the link in my bio for more tips and inspiration #WholeFoodsMarket

I’m teaming up with @Wholefoods to remind you that even though school lunches can be tricky, they have everything you need, from conventional to organic, to give you peace of mind about the foods your kids eat. Through their rigorous Quality Standards, they ban 300+ ingredients from food.

Does your kid have any special or weird lunch requests? Share in the comments! Tap the link in my bio for more tips and inspiration #WholeFoodsMarket
...

Travel is already stressful. Add kids to the equation, and it becomes even more complicated. Here are 3 tips and considerations for handling jet lag in kids.

#travelwithkids #jetlag #melatonin #parentingtips #parentdata #emilyoster

Travel is already stressful. Add kids to the equation, and it becomes even more complicated. Here are 3 tips and considerations for handling jet lag in kids.

#travelwithkids #jetlag #melatonin #parentingtips #parentdata #emilyoster
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Happy 11th birthday to #ExpectingBetter 🎂🎉 Writing this book completely changed my life. I could never have imagined the opportunities and community it would lead me to. Grateful to all of you for reading and being here!

To celebrate, you can use the code “expectingbetter” for 15% off Web or Plus subscriptions on ParentData.org 💛

#bookbirthday #pregnancyadvice #parentdata #emilyoster

Happy 11th birthday to #ExpectingBetter 🎂🎉 Writing this book completely changed my life. I could never have imagined the opportunities and community it would lead me to. Grateful to all of you for reading and being here!

To celebrate, you can use the code “expectingbetter” for 15% off Web or Plus subscriptions on ParentData.org 💛

#bookbirthday #pregnancyadvice #parentdata #emilyoster
...

Screens have become a ubiquitous part of classroom life. Is this a good thing? Today on the ParentData podcast, I talk with @jessgrosewrites from the @nytimes. She recently ran a survey asking about kids’ screen usage after not being able to find studies and data on the subject.

“Nothing is all bad or all good. But I think overall, there just has been very little scrutiny into something that has been a massive shift in the way kids learn in the past, let’s say, two decades.”

Comment “Link” for a DM to listen to today’s podcast episode. 🎧

#screentime #technologyintheclassroom #parentdatapodcast #parentdata #emilyoster

Screens have become a ubiquitous part of classroom life. Is this a good thing? Today on the ParentData podcast, I talk with @jessgrosewrites from the @nytimes. She recently ran a survey asking about kids’ screen usage after not being able to find studies and data on the subject.

“Nothing is all bad or all good. But I think overall, there just has been very little scrutiny into something that has been a massive shift in the way kids learn in the past, let’s say, two decades.”

Comment “Link” for a DM to listen to today’s podcast episode. 🎧

#screentime #technologyintheclassroom #parentdatapodcast #parentdata #emilyoster
...

We surveyed the ParentData audience and here’s what you said about the worst baby products. Bottom of the list: unnecessary warmers. Don’t get your kid used to having warm diaper wipes! Nothing good can come of that.

Comment “Link” for the best baby items and other parenting wisdom from the ParentData community. Best general advice: get things used, and you do not need as much as you think. 

Add your advice below! What do you wish you’d known about in advance, and what was a waste? ⬇️

#parentdata #emilyoster #babyproducts #babyitems #newparents #firsttimeparents

We surveyed the ParentData audience and here’s what you said about the worst baby products. Bottom of the list: unnecessary warmers. Don’t get your kid used to having warm diaper wipes! Nothing good can come of that.

Comment “Link” for the best baby items and other parenting wisdom from the ParentData community. Best general advice: get things used, and you do not need as much as you think.

Add your advice below! What do you wish you’d known about in advance, and what was a waste? ⬇️

#parentdata #emilyoster #babyproducts #babyitems #newparents #firsttimeparents
...