Emily Oster

3 min Read Emily Oster

Emily Oster

Wins, Woes, and Doing It Again

Your stories for the week

Emily Oster

3 min Read

We have our first story from a dad! And it’s a good one.


10/10

—Girl Dad with Confidence Growing by the Day

Girl Dad life is the best. But ponytails? Those are serious business. I’ve long been worried (intimidated?) about ponytails given my lack of experience in the field. Finally, I can pull one off after tons of practice on a squirmy toddler’s head. Is it perfect? No. Is it decent? Barely. Will it tide us over if Mom is out of town? Yes, definitely. I think it pairs well with her “cheesy smile.”

Unfair

—So Close but So Unhelpful 

I am in tears reading everyone’s stories about traveling and leaving their children with grandparents (Ed. note: in the comments section in last week’s Wins and Woes). My spouse and I live within 45 minutes of our parents and have good relationships with them. All the grandparents are capable of caring for our daughter, and yet they are unwilling to help with babysitting for more than a few hours very infrequently (like once every six months). On top of that, they mostly see our daughter if we take her to their houses, and they rarely initiate plans. It feels so unfair.

Want our bed back

—Sleep Training in Texas

My son is about to turn 1 in a couple of weeks. Up until four months old, he slept great in his bassinet, after which point he refused to sleep unless he was on or next to me. I gave in and ended up bed sharing (as safely as possible) with him to the present day. My husband has been sleeping on a blow-up mattress in our kid’s nursery. We want our bed back, but the attempts at sleep training over the past many months have failed. We can’t get past letting our little guy scream for hours; all attempts to console him do not work. He literally cries for hours even when we go in to check on him, touch and pat him, sing to him, you name it. I’m just not sure how to deal with the awful feelings from letting him cry. The thought of trying to sleep train again gives me raging anxiety. I don’t know what to do.

This week’s reader question

I feel terribly torn about whether to have a second child. I marvel at all the moms I know who were pregnant within a year or two of having their first — how could they be so certain, and so brave? And what’s wrong with me that I feel so indecisive? I’d love for my kiddo to have a sibling, but the stress, expense, and exhaustion of having another kid does not appeal. But the clock is ticking and I need to decide. I don’t want to feel regretful someday. Would love to hear from others who felt similarly at any point!

—Uncertain

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