How Can I Get My Kids to Stick to a Schedule?

A follow-up question from The Family Firm: Do your kids actually look at their schedule every day/night? How specific are you on the schedule for how they use their time during the week? What do you say to your kids to remind them of their responsibilities?
—Anonymous

My kids are 13 and 9, which means they are at the point where I am trusting them — especially the older one —to not only look at their schedule but to actually develop it.

Generally, we write down schedules at the start of the school year, and my sense is that, for a while early on, both kids refer to it somewhat frequently. By mid-year, it’s pretty dialed-in. The way I think about the specificity is the following: We worked out a schedule that was very specific, to make sure we are clear on what needs to be done and that there is sufficient time to do it. But within this, as things evolve, there is some flexibility.

A blue alarm clock with two bells sits on a blue and white background. — Getty Images

For example, the schedule has violin practice happening before dinner, but my daughter often moves it to after dinner for various reasons I do not completely understand. As long as it happens, I try not to get too involved.

We do not do that much reminding, since they basically know what to do. The one place we do a tremendous amount of reminding, though, is in the space of what to bring to school. There are checklists by the door that my husband keeps updated for different seasons. We force the kids to check them every morning (or rather, Jesse does, since I’m terrible at this). In the absence of the checklists, we would very, very frequently forget things.