My 4-year-old has atrial septal defect and needs open-heart surgery. We have been told it’s genetic, but I had a few glasses of wine very slowly in my pregnancy. Has this contributed to it? What does the data say? I’m blaming myself.
—Sarah
First of all, I’m sorry to hear your son needs surgery, and I hope it all goes smoothly and he’s on the mend and running around again very soon.
The data absolutely does not suggest that you caused this. For example, here’s a meta-analysis on the question, which shows no link between overall prenatal alcohol exposure and heart defects. Moreover, as I’ve written about before in detail (in Expecting Better), the evidence does not point to negative impacts of drinking in the way you describe. (Even though it does certainly point to the negative impact of heavy or binge drinking.)
This type of heart defect can be genetic, and it sounds like in your case it is.
I want to step back a bit, though, because this question really gets at the ways that we often blame pregnant women — or blame ourselves — for things that happen that are absolutely out of our control. There are many reasons for this: social pressure, internal pressure, a generalized sense that mothers are responsible for everything bad that happens.
It also may reflect that we, as humans, want answers and explanations for why bad things happen to us or to others. It is hard to sit with the idea that this scary thing happened more or less for no reason. But as hard as this is, that’s the reality, and I hope you can find some comfort in it.
Very best of luck.
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1) I’m a 45 year old mother of three girls (11,9,3) and I had an atrial septal defect corrected when I was three. I’ve always been a little proud of my “zipper” (laparoscopic wasn’t an option back then) and have never had any negative side effects. The only two downsides have been having to write it on every health history even though it has affected nothing and my OBGYN finding out and choosing to freak out about that in addition to my age, weight, and desire to have a 2nd VBAC (the first was successful). I got a different OB and all went perfectly with unexpected COVID baby #3. 🙂
2) Don’t blame yourself, you are awesome! Mothers (myself included!) take on far too much blame for the imperfections of their families, houses, meals, nutrition, schedules, health, etc. The world isn’t perfect, so naturally, our families won’t be either, through no fault of our own. Be you and love. That’s all you have to do. And with your son, you can do that better than just about everyone.
Leona, do you mind me asking if any of your daughters ended up having an ASD as well? I’m 34 and we just discovered and repaired my ASD with open heart surgery. I have a little one that we now need to get checked out due to the potential genetic component. To say I’m anxious about it is an understatement but thankfully I am recovering well and will be able to help my kiddo with recovery should it be necessary.
Leona. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my question to Emily. The more stories I hear about the success of living after surgery to correct an asd the more comforted I feel. Much love, Sarah