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As a zero waste consultant and mom of a toddler, I relate so hard with this. The most valuable thing I can say here is that producers of harmful products are not held to stringent enough standards, and they revel in the social media guilt-trip that is individual consumer-centered environmentalism. It should not be our responsibility as individuals to police the production or ingredients within products that our government doesn’t even require companies to disclose are IN THE PRODUCTS. Because plenty of people here have already shared great advice on general environmental awareness, here are two things I think are proactive that I try to practice related to **microplastic exposure** as well as petroleum based ointments: 1) Accept that like all risks, our kids will be exposed to things outside our own homes and product purchases. I just try to celebrate the times that I’m able to move the needle within my own home and remember that every little bit helps. and 2) concentrate our efforts toward national, state, and local legislation/regulation about packaging, food and skin care ingredients, and playground construction (recycled tire mulch is an example of something you might wish to advocate about in your community). One agency I can recommend is the National Stewardship Action Council for a newsletter on federal level legislation that would better regulate plastics and chemicals in all kinds of products, and a lot of their peers which are usually listed in their newsletter or social media. It doesn’t feel this way, but if we all take the few minutes a month we have to sign our name to something that benefits ourselves and families, we are seeing change. It’s the guilt cycle of individual choices in the social media influencer sphere that is convincing us otherwise and distracting us from the real goal – holding entities with way more influence and capital accountable for the choices they offer us, which are extremely limited, nontransparent in their information, and based on extending profits to their shareholders – not on our preferences or our families’ health.

Insidiously, social and other media algorithms (especially noticeable for parents) intentionally feed people content to make and keep them anxious; this is one of the emotions that increases the usage of their platforms! I noticed this the moment the algorithm learned I was expecting.

Like many others have said, this anxiety comes from a belief that we have much more control or impact, and thus responsibility, than we actually do. Looking at data as a magic bullet to parent perfectly is just one of the many ways we all try to do parenting the “right” way. It’s too much to bear. While it’s frightening to accept that our actions aren’t going to move the needle all that much or at all, or that there is literally no way to do it perfectly, it’s also pretty freeing!

I completely agree and had to tell myself this same thing. Huge corporations are the problem, and they’ve done a great job at making individuals feel responsible. They use green washing to make it seem like they care, and they don’t. We can only do so much, and then it’s up to policy and how much a company actually cares to follow it. No one would blame themselves. Do what you can and what is realistic, then move on. They want us to take the blame so we forget they are the problem!

Man, I feel this! I take a “head in the sand” approach, for better and for worse. It lets me be a less-stressed and (for me) a better parent.

Gonna add a tangent I’m personally struggling with: an in-law has accused my partner and I of willfully damaging our kids by exposing them to Covid by sending them to daycare unmasked. Data has informed this accusation of hers. When my partner and I look at the data, we come to a very different conclusion (i.e., we are not damaging our kids). This is another fun way that data scares me. Sigh.

I’m sure you’ve gathered lots of helpful responses. The approach is important but most importantly once broached – complete understanding of whatever they choose to do should be honored and validated.

I am – personally speaking – opposed to sleep training and while there were days I considered it and certainly days it was recommended to me, it just isn’t something I’m comfortable with. I also understand why others may choose it as a parenting tool and why others might suggest it. But at the end of the day they may have reasons they do not want to and that’s okay.

I saw a news article a long time ago saying there was a study linking sun exposure before the age of 5 and skin cancer later in life. Is there any legit data on this?

Hi!!!! 🙂

This, this and this again. Offer open hearted, open-minded support and practical help, not advice.

Parenting choices come from deep, emotional places – none perhaps more than “sleep training”.

It’s such a hot topic that unsolicited advice might actually do more harm than good to your relationship. If it’s not your thing, it makes you see people who believe in it very differently…

This might seem extreme to people who are comfortable with CIO etc – but for those who aren’t, feelings are often very strong on the subject (in my experience and from conversations with others who won’t practice it).

Sorry for typos. Trying to do six things at once over here!

If they haven’t asked for you advice and they are intelligent, thoughtful adults, don’t offer it. They do have a routine established, even if it’s a challenging one. Some folks have an ethical opposition to sleep training. Others have extremely sensitive babies form whom it simply won’t work, no matter how many things you try or how much you pay an expert. (Ask me home I know!) Also, they might well have tried things that they haven’t disclosed to you, as sleep is such a challenging and personal issue for any family to navigate. Offer to babysit and open up to them about the things you found daunting yourself; if they feel safe and want your advice, they will ask for it. Thanks for being so thoughtful here, grandma!

What PP said about offering to do some research… “Can I do some research on options and summarize them for you if it’s overwhelming to pick?” This is the best thing I’ve heard. As a mum of a 19mo and struggling with sleep, the biggest difficulty is finding time to do any research on how we might go about changing things. It’s one thing offering advice as an experienced mother yourself but gathering together any advice from reliable sources would be a whole new level of helpful!

Hi! I started following Emily on Instagram when I became a mom and loved all of the helpful data-driven recommendations (I also ran my first marathon this year and loved all of the training content!). I have one daughter (15 months) and work full time for a residential children’s summer camp (It’s mostly project-based work during the off-season).

I’m excited to meet everyone!! I know Sophie (go Broncos!) and had no idea she was part of this team. I wanted to create an account right away 🙂