access@mattered.com

One thing that has surprised me about becoming a parent is how much it complicates my feelings about being a daughter. It feels like all of my relationships pull me harder now, and it’s impossible to prioritize everybody. I don’t have a solution, but I feel your distress!

Alma is a beautiful name. Thinking of you, and your daughters.

Sending you a big hug.

I have a 2yo and 4yo, and they are wonderful in many ways but also so exhausting. And we have a close relationship which means, among other things, that they know EXACTLY how to push my buttons. I frequently need breaks from them, and my “treat” for Mother’s Day is for me to leave the house without them and have a few hours with no one clambering all over my lap and spreading peanut butter in my hair. I’ve reached a point where I can look forward to that break without guilt (in fact, with unalloyed joy!) — I hope you can, too! Hang in there, mama, and remember that modeling setting boundaries and taking care of yourself is also a wonderful way to care for your kid.

Sorry for all the comments. Forgot to add Neupogen injections and LDN also part of my protocol

I also want to add that this protocol was devised after a LOT of testing and is highly individual so I ofc don’t mean to recommend that anyone just start taking these meds wily-nily- but I hope it might be a helpful starting point for conversations w a RI. Best of luck to everyone!

Hello! I consulted with two reproductive immunologists, Alex Kofinas and Jonathan Scher. I found them both incredibly compassionate and encouraging. They agreed that a RI protocol could help me carry to term, in part because during my last pregnancy, the baby stopped growing immediately after I stopped taking prednisone at 16 weeks. My current protocol, which they mostly agreed on, consists of metformin, Lovenox, Tacrolimus, Plaquenil, Prednisone and intralipid infusions until 34 weeks. I hope this is helpful – I’m happy to discuss more. I will also get a cerclage at 12 weeks (lost my first baby when water broke at 16 weeks). I should caveat that I’m a whole 4 weeks 4 days today, so the proof will be in the pudding I suppose. Fingers crossed!

Hi! It seems the target audience for folks who have had complicated births. I love your books and was about to get this one, I feel like I need all the information, but then I realized some the content I was seeing on IG etc was actually triggering anxiety for what could happen, people’s stories of late pregnancy loss etc (I am going to be a FTM, currently 31 weeks pregnant, with no complications so far…). Is there any value for a FTM who so far has had a healthy pregnancy, or should I skip for now?

I had absent end diastolic flow causing severe IUGR, eclampsia and stillbirth at 21 weeks. Where do you live? I’ve consulted with two MFMs in NYC who both advised a reproductive immunology protocol for my current pregnancy to keep the baby (and me) alive. I’m happy to pass along their information if you’re interested/that’s appropriate here!

Hello! I have had two difficult pregnancies that ended in 1) miscarriage at 16 weeks and 2) stillbirth at 21 weeks. In the second, I developed eclampsia – severe liver and kidney failure, extreme blood loss, critically low sodium and seizure. I’m pregnant for the third time and have a wonderful MFM who has me on an immunology protocol to try to prevent my body from rejecting the pregnancy. Do you cover these topics in the book? I’m so interested in reading it but given the PTSD I already carry w/r/t pregnancy, I’m not sure now is the right time. Thank you!

With my last pregnancy, I tested for low progesterone and was ordered supplements by my doctor. My levels rose only slightly, but just want to caution that it made me so sick to the point I was suffering from dehydration.

38 and trying to get pregnant again. Took me awhile to get pregnant with my last baby (maybe PCOS, but they aren’t sure). Will this book be triggering for me if I read while trying to conceive or am pregnant? I had a ton of miscarriage anxiety last time.

I was in the hospital this week for spontaneous preterm labor at 34.3 – very unexpected in an otherwise uneventful pregnancy. The doctor offered the option to get a steroid shot for baby’s lung development but said that recent studies do urge caution for babies that may be born full term due to an increased risk of developmental disorders (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36001315/).

The cutoff for where they wouldn’t give steroids was 35 weeks… Dr. said it was a tough call but she would do it if it were her, so we opted to get the shot.

Since labor stopped naturally and I’m at 35.1, now every day that passes I’m worried that baby is developing a disorder. Can you reassure me that it’s better to be full term / at term with the steroid shot than preterm?

Does the book cover TORCH infections like congenital CMV?

Is there any way to see data on severe maternal morbidity by hospital system and how it’s trending over time? We talk a lot about how women can make birth safer through self advocacy but I want to see what hospitals are doing to address this too— especially when choosing where to give birth.