Caitlin M

“It’s okay to let them cry.” My sister told me this when six weeks in my husband had to quarantine from us because he freakishly managed to get covid while grocery shopping wearing a mask. I needed to hear it regardless, and I needed to hear it from another mom. My sweet husband told me it was okay for my baby to cry while I used the bathroom, but hearing it from a mom of small children is what really drove it home for me. My sister actually said she wished she had just let them cry more when she needed a minute because they won’t remember it. My pediatrician also told us that it’s better for a baby to cry themselves to sleep than be in the arms of a frustrated parent. So, when you can’t get your baby to calm down/sleep, and you yourself are inevitably in tears and questioning why the hell you decided to have a baby, just put the baby down for a few minutes. You and the baby will both do much better after even a 2-minute run of crying separately rather than together.

I would love to see an analysis of the data on autoimmune diseases and pregnancy. I had a flare-up of my Crohn’s disease toward the end of my pregnancy that was ultimately treated after delivery (just because of how late we caught it-it was hard to decipher if I felt sick just becaise I was pregnant…). I was not in a flare-up while pregnant, and hadn’t had one for 15 years, for context, so it seems pregnancy caused it. My doctor told me that about 1/3 of women get flare-ups during pregnancy, 1/3 stay the same, and 1/3 get better, but I think that’s just based on his experience.

I’m mostly curious what the chances are that I get a flare-up if I get pregnant again, and if I’ll need different/more intense treatment (currently not on immune suppressing drugs for my disease) if this happens again. My sister had flare-ups with both of her pregnancies and ultimately needed new treatment. I’m particularly interested in Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis, but I bet women with other autoimmune disorders would love to better understand this!