Stillcbh

I’ve been there! You’re not alone. And, no matter what you decide, you and your partner are smart and thoughtful to consider this decisions. It is, in many ways, a small decision for hetero couples (do we skip the condom tonight?) but in many ways, it’s the biggest decision because it will affect the next 20 years of your life, and likely the remaining years of your life. So regardless of your decision, you’re smart (and not selfish) for considering this carefully.

That being said, of course there is no right answer. We were 34 when we got pregnant. I definitely didn’t “always know” I wanted a baby, but here I am at 40 with two small children, 2 and 5.

Everything about daily life changes when you have a baby, and the fatigue especially in the early years, is palpable. This is likely the cause of the depression you see in friends – fatigue.

Once you get past the fatigue and the physical healing (remember, in addition to pregnancy and birth, which is about a year or sometimes more) BFing can extend this journey for your body for many more years depending on how many kids you have. This is a big sacrifice if time and energy.

We must live and make decisions though, even without all the information about how it will go. And even knowing the downsides. For us, all the work, worry, discomfort, fatigue, tantrums, and even PPD, we’re totally worth it. Living as a family under one roof is a constant adventure. Sometimes a maddening one, but sometimes a euphoric one. In the end, bringing more love into this world has made me satisfied with my decision. Best of luck!!