Momparent

This is all fantastic advice.

To the extent you’re looking for a gut check on whether you’re overreacting:

The TV would not concern me at all. We don’t do it, but it’s not really going to harm the kid on a short term basis. I might feel differently if you said no TV was a huge battle with your kid.

If my parents attempted to give my child sugar and no play group all week, the problem would sort itself out in two days, because my child would be a tyrant. I would just say that she can see how it goes, but the kid is happier and more fun when she gets out of the house and doesn’t have sugar crashes.

“Don’t tell your mom and dad” is the biggest concern. I would have your wife explain that you do not want people encouraging your child to lie in any circumstances, and if that persists, that’s where I would draw the boundary.

I mean, if you don’t feel comfortable leaving your child overnight with your in laws because of your MIL, and you’ve asked for changes in connection with they discomfort and she’s said no, your next step is to not leave your child overnight with your in laws. That’s how you set and enforce a boundary. What you’re asking is how you can control someone else’s behavior, and the answer is that you can’t.

I’m sorry! It sucks not having childcare you trust. But your MIL has told you what leaving your child with her means. Your job is to decide, with your partner, if you can live with that or not, and it will be your partner’s job to convey the bad news to her parents if the answer is that you can’t.