At home in Utah

Directly al the parents you respect the most and want the most to be like.

Agreed on kindergarten. If you took him on vacation with you he would miss the same number of days. He won’t have homework to make up or miss irreplaceable learning. (Or I guess this could get into the problems of kindergarten becoming too rigorous and less playful, but that’s a whole different can of worms)

This may sound overwhelming, but it is pretty normal to not take vacations without your children or leave your children over night with others. Parents-only vacations are a fairly new trend and it may be that you can drop some of the more overwhelming responsibilities in your lives, or take more frequent date nights using other babysitters so you don’t feel the need to be away from your son over night. I’ve found there is often a pretty big generational divide over whether or not grandparents owe their kids free babysitting, so it’s fairly likely that your MIL feels she is already doing you a huge favor to watch him and that it is really presumptuous of you to insist she do it in a way that will be more difficult for her. I’m guessing I will be shocked at how tired I am when I’m elderly, so it could be asking a lot of her to put more effort into this. If you can’t afford other help it might just be a luxury you have to forgo.