JD

I will also add my recommendation to check out early intervention services where you live! They are free (in many places) and there to be accessed if needed, and can be a helpful and relatively low stress way of getting support or information if further services are needed. What also might help is to establish what your next steps might be, if only to manage your anxiety by having a plan. Ask your doctor: “so is it reasonable to check in about this in x amount of time, is there anything else I need to be looking out for?” and then establish exactly who to get in touch with/ how you will access a referral for evaluations of needed. My own issue with trusting my gut is figuring out whether what I really want is reassurance that things will be okay or if there is something else that I need to address. And while it is true that milestones are really ranges, it is also true that sometimes a delay is within the standard range… until suddenly it’s not. Both of my kids benefitted from early intervention, and my younger ended up needing more significant support than we initially anticipated (and I will admit I did not initially worry too much because I had been a late talker and so wasn’t surprised when my kiddos were as well). I remind myself that my role is to support my kids where they are and get them the resources they need to thrive, even when this means their needs are different from what I might have initially envisioned or anticipated. And I will also add that getting this early help does not mean that your child will be pathologized or on the road to any sort of diagnosis, many early interventions and services (even special education/related services in schools) are often accessible based on evaluated need through the early years. There may not be a need to worry but there’s also no harm in knowing and getting the help if it’s needed!

Woe: with a 9yo and an autistic 5yo everything feels so difficult, especially because it feels like this is when things should be getting easier with kids getting older and more independent. I never thought I’d still be working on potty training with a 5yo, and getting everyone ready to do anything (especially outside the routine) can be a big challenge. Plus all the life worries that come when your kid has extra needs
Win: I keep trying, we get out of the house and go places and do things, and even when my kid has a hard time and is acting in a way that may not be “normal” for a 5yo I remind myself that everyone deserves to me out in the world doing things in their own way. And whenever something doesn’t work I try to reset and see if there’s something I can learn for next time!