jburdon

I too am a grandmother to 2 boys belonging to my daughter and her husband. It is easier to see problems from the outside looking in as a grandparent than it is as a new parent struggling to find their way through life with a new baby, and outside advice is not always welcomed. Additionally, as the patrilineal grandmother there is an additional layer of awkwardness as your DIL may welcome advice from her own mother more readily.

However, if your son and/or daughter-in-law confides that they are struggling with this issue I think that is a tacit invitation to you to offer suggestions. A fine line.

If not, you might consider approaching it from a stance of concern for them (“You both seem to be struggling with getting the baby to sleep unless he/she is sleeping with one of you. If you want I am glad to share some ideas that worked for me.” That way you leave the communication door open if they decide to walk through it.

Having said that, I realized long ago that there are as many ways to parent children as there are people in this world. They will figure out the best way for their family at some point.