LesAnn

You can do your best to express your wishes in a respectful way (and I agree that this best comes from your spouse once the two of you are on the same page). At the end of the day, while you describe this dynamic as toxic, I also have to believe that there aren’t any actual safety concerns as we would then be having a different conversation. How often does your MIL actually have this sort of free-reign with your son? Is it possible that there is a benefit to him learning that different households have different rules, and that this is actually okay and to be expected? Grandparents feel they’ve earned the overindulgence, and in many regards, I think that they have. I bet your MIL learns the hard way that she should have sent your son to school – kids have a way of exhausting their grandparents! Pick your battles, give it time, and don’t take forfeiting this kind of help (and ultimately love) lightly.