Jmarsh

And sorry for the typos – especially at the end – was feeding the baby and writing. 😆

I’m 35 and had my first baby in November. I am one of those people who always knew they wanted children – my husband initially did not. Many people told me how challenging it would be and because many of my friends already had children, I went in with eyes wide open. We’re really lucky to be in a good place financially (because we’re older), have an extremely supportive group of family and friends, a solid relationship of two people with the capacity to be selfless when needed, and have a baby who has generally been a good sleeper. I know many many people do not have these advantages, and we are EXTREMELY lucky. (You might be someone who is equally set up for success.) With that said, although there is an adjustment, it hasn’t been as challenging as I thought it would be and the undeniable, intense love you have for your kid cannot be matched. It completely shatters the ceiling on what you previously thought your capacity to love was. I 100 percent agree with people who say that they feel the urge to be self deprecating or downplay the intense joy and satisfaction that you get from having a child because frankly it feels braggy. Not everyone who wants a child and could be a great parent is lucky enough to have one, and it feels so cruel to discuss this joy with someone who won’t have it. Before my daughter, my life great, but as I got older, things felt monotonous and self serving. Even on her worst days, my daughter brings so much more joy than I could even have comprehended was possible. By the way, my husband, the guy who didn’t even like kids, loves our daughter with the same intensity that I do and would do it again in a heart beat. So, if you feel like you have what you need to be a successful parent and both you and your partner think this MAY be something you’d want to do, I say go for it. There isn’t a wrong answer, but I do not know of a person mentally well, financially stable person who wishes that they hadn’t had children.