Katharina

To the Mama of the 15-month-old: I am so sorry that you have these worries. I don’t know your daughter, but I can tell you that my son just turned 15 months and until about 2 months ago he hadn‘t spoken a single word, not even Mama. He called me „dada“ and did understand a lot, but speaking – nope. My best friend told me that kids learn to speak when it becomes necessary – because they want to articulate themselves and people can‘t read their needs nonverbally anymore. Now my son is in daycare (where he is really happy), daily surrounded with kids and adults who love them but can‘t always tell what he wants just by looking at him. He now knows 10 animal sounds, calls me Mama and his dad Papa (we‘re Germans), he can say the German words for tea, meal, broth, banana, strawberry, apple, hedgehog, caterpillar, getting dressed, bye, book (in baby pronounciation, of course, but you get what he wants to say). An he understands a looooot more and imitates us. There‘s a new word almost every day. I taught him most of them, but I think that daycare played a role in him understanding that it’s time to speak now.
So: If your daughter doesn‘t speak, it might be because she doesn‘t have to. Because you know her and your needs. But the time will come when she wants to tell you something, and then she will. The most important thing is what you wrote in the beginning: that you know she is fine. Doctors know their science, but parents know their kids.

You are doing things right. Really. ❤️

A friend who doesn‘t have children came over and brought some fresh flowers „because I think you probably got enough presents for the baby. Those are just for you.“ And then she asked if she could fold the laundry in the basket over there. I wish I had said yes.

Plus: If they want your advice on this subject, that doesn‘t mean they want it every time they struggle with something. Being a parent means growing with your child and finding solutions that work for your family. I often had discussions with my own mom (whom I love very much) because she thought I was insecure (which I am) and therefore needed advice on every topic (which I don‘t). We had a long talk in which I made clear that doing things differently doesn‘t mean that I think she did it the wrong way with me and my sister. It just means that I am not her and my son is not me. And as great as she is as a grandmother (she is awesome!) – I am the best mom for my own child. Turned out that she sees it the way I do and just wanted to encourage me. But if I hadn‘t talked to her about it, I wouldn‘t know. And many people do not talk about their anger and fears, especially not with their MIL. So please be sensitive. In case of doubt: Trust them as parents. They might know what they are doing.

As some have already suggested: I would ask if they want advice. As a mom, I like being asked. And you could just tell them about this really helpful and data-driven homepage where parents find answers without judgement 😉 Help them help themselves.