KathleenN

I think it’s great to reject it *for you* if it doesn’t feel useful for you/your family. Tracking things is not an inherently harmful concept, though. I like it because a challenge helps me achieve things and not just say 6 months later “gee, I wish we’d gotten outside more when it was nice out.” It’s the same reason I have a Fitbit and set a reading goal on Goodreads. I only try to achieve arbitrary metrics when they’re motivating me to do things I actually want to do!
And FWIW, even the official 100 Hours stance on “what if we fail to meet our goal?” is “even if you fail, you win, because you got outside.”
(Logistically, you can track in the app, or if you don’t want to financially support the org/founders – many don’t – the printable trackers are free. Or, I dunno, use a Notes app or something. And it does seem to be mostly moms tracking. It is in my family. But my husband would be happy to take the kids to the mall or an indoor trampoline park almost every weekend, while I’d be tearing my hair out from the florescent lights and canned music and stale air, so I do take the lead on getting outdoors.)

I’m surprised you didn’t get it in the hospital. I guess my measles immunity is fine, but in my first pregnancy I wasn’t immune to rubella and had to have an MMR, which I was given in the hospital before I was discharged; there was no problem with availability there. That immunity lasted at least 3 years (I was immune in my second pregnancy) but not 7 years (I had lost it again by my third pregnancy). Apparently they don’t recommend continuing to boost adults if you repeatedly lose your immunity, though – you get one booster as an adult and that’s it.

I think this is true (damned if you do, damned if you don’t), but from another BFing mother, I think it’s important to be mindful of the differences in the quality/content of the criticisms aimed at formula moms. The judgement I received was all about whether breastfeeding was good for me (“don’t you just feel like a pacifier?”), or necessary (“you had formula and you turned out fine”), or good for them (people who want a chance to feed the baby), etc. No one ever implied that I was doing something to hurt my baby, or not a good mom, which I think is a lot of what formula feeding moms hear, and which I think is a much harder criticism to deal with, and much more emotionally charged, especially to new or hormonal parents.

I’ve certainly been doing plenty of scrolling this newborn phase, and I can’t outsmart the algorithm, but I also told myself I’d try to rely on the Kindle app instead of the Facebook app for keeping myself awake during middle of the night feedings and it’s been fantastic. I’ve finished 11 books since my 9-week-old was born, mostly while nursing in the middle of the night or while holding a napping baby and I’ve enjoyed it so much. Parenting my other kids hasn’t left me this much time for reading in years and I missed it.

Kind of the opposite of a lot of these, but I wish someone had said “this isn’t normal. Do a little more investigating.” Babies are fussy, but they shouldn’t be fussy all the time. Sleep is hard, but they shouldn’t wake up every 15 minutes all night long. Or “this too shall pass, and if it doesn’t, try making some changes.” In my case it was a combination of low supply initially (we’d heard so much about fussy babies we didn’t realize he was hungry!) and food intolerance (if daycare is asking you to send in 5+ bibs/day to keep his clothes dry, maybe look further than “some babies spit up a lot.”) It’s hard, but it was harder than it had to be. Feeding him more and cutting dairy way earlier would have made a world of difference.

Both my younger kids had similar issues, and the newborn phase was/is always hard, but early formula supplementation, dietary changes, and reflux meds meant we never went through the hellhole of my first’s infancy when we were assuming that was just the way things were.

Agreed. It wasn’t until I got to my second that I realized I’m just not a “newborn” mom. Some people love the “newborn snuggles,” some people (me!) feel like it’s all the work and none of the reward, not even so much as eye contact or a smile. But worth it to get to watch a funny little toddler figure out how the world works one day. But with my first all I knew was the stage I was in, and that was terrifying.

I’m on baby #3, and had someone ask me how we were doing. I said “exhausted” and he said “there’s light at the end of the tunnel.” And I’ve been through this twice before and I KNOW there’s light at the end of the tunnel, but he was in the tunnel more recently and hearing him say it almost made me cry!

In the hospital those first 1.5 days, I remember thinking “my blood pressure is fine, shouldn’t someone be checking on my baby? Weigh him more, listen to his breathing more, he’s brand new, pay attention to him!” and then I came home and had the same experience in reverse – baby gets a dozen doctors appointments, and I’m invisible until 6 weeks. Your two options for mom’s health are “you’re fine” or “go to the ER.” (Here is a 1-page handout to help you tell the difference.)

Ugh I can’t stand how the screening forms say things like “have you been anxious for no reason?” I DON’T KNOW! Is being anxious about SIDS being anxious for no reason or for a very good reason?! You tell me whether my anxiety is warranted or pathological . . . you’re the expert, I’m a mess.

That’s so great! The *worst* thing anyone said to me postpartum with my first was “Don’t you just love him so much?!?” I was crushed, because I didn’t yet and how could someone else (my sister) love my baby more than I did?! Two kids later and I know it can take time, and also, you can kind of talk yourself into love if you want. Stare into your baby’s eyes and tell him you love him and, in my experience, before long you do. The mindset difference between “I’m on my way to being in love” and “I’m not in love” is HUGE even if your feelings at the moment are the same.

I would want to know more about who is included in the sample to determine COVID effects on the menstrual cycle. The last study I saw on this topic limited their sample to women with regular cycles. While this makes sense in terms of ability to determine cause and effect, it does make me wonder whether those of us with less regular cycles are the very people whose cycles are most susceptible to outside influence, and maybe you’re eliminating precisely the population most likely to see an impact. For example, I wouldn’t have qualified to be in the study I’m referring to, because my cycles vary from about 30-50 days. Meanwhile, I didn’t get my period for *4 months* after I got vaccinated. Even as someone who’s not regular, this was a sudden and dramatic departure from my norm. But studies that only include people with regular cycles would never take it into account.