Kristen R.

I agree with the comments that suggest starting with a question of “How are you doing? How can I best support you?”.

My MIL, while incredibly well intentioned and kind, always starts by saying “When I had…(my husband) I did X. She has given us a parenting book she used 30+ years ago and frequently refers to chapters and asked if I read them. She has asked us to ask us to ask our pediatrician their rationale for certain advice because SHE wants to know more. She has asked her friend who is a developmental psychologist about certain milestones and then reported her advice to us. We have asked for none of the above.

And while this is partially a rant on my part, I hope it provides some insight on some examples that could potentially strain your relationship.

I used to have a great relationship with my MIL, but now I have my husband handle most of the communication. I appreciate that you are aware of how challenging this situation is for them and want to approach it in a way that is supportive but not judgmental.