Leona

On Tuesday, you said “high cholesterol and high blood sugar that can crop up as we move into our 40s and 50s.”
Yes! That! But why?????? I’ve always been healthy, always blood pressure on the low end of normal and always normal, healthy labs. I always ate healthy: no chips, no soda, not too much sugar, little to no fast food, healthy meals with chicken, fish, or tofu, and, of course, my night cheese, a family tradition since I was young:). And suddenly after my 2nd child at 37, the weight didn’t really come off after pregnancy. After my 3rd at 42, the weight keeps going up 3-5 lbs every 3months(I’m weighed when I get my depo shot). And now (I’m 45) my doctor says I’m “pre-diabetic” and have high cholesterol. WTF!!! I don’t think I’ve changed anything so what’s happening and how do I reverse it when nothing seems to have caused it in the first place?! Hate that dieting or Ozempic is my doctor’s solution when I’m not ready to do either. I’ve never dieted and I’m not going to start with 3 young, impressionable daughters in my house one of whom already mentioned needing to burn calories at age 9; they’re all perfectly healthy and small for their ages (we’re a small family). I’m not so much concerned about the weight, though I know I need to move more, but the labs just make no sense and I imagine it’s all connected. What is going on?

I get that rewards help with behavior. But wasn’t the concern about its effect on a love of learning? I agree that if the way we’re educating our students isn’t going to encourage or foster a love of learning, we need to re-evaluate. And for me, this isn’t on teachers as much as it is on the training we offer and or require of our teachers. Our school system and our state and likely many other systems and states are awful about instituting new curriculum or new standards without providing adequate training for the teachers.
I’d also like to mention that I also can’t stand how the biggest school rewards aren’t even for academic or behavior but for school fundraisers! Maybe our children would do better if we invest in them. We’re using a reward system to put the responsibility on the individual to improve instead of recognizing that if we invest in and improve the system, we would be able to help more children stay excited and fascinated by learning.

I want to echo a few key points and state them very clearly and plainly. These three things are what I try to remember when I feel guilt or panic:
1) I will do what I can to the extent that it doesn’t impact my own mental health. My mental health will impact my children far more than the negligible impact I can have on the problem (climate change, disease risk, my children’s’ IQ, etc.) even if I do everything “right”.
2) the guilt and anxiety I feel is, in part, a result of people, corporations, governments, etc. displacing their own responsibility onto me. I don’t need to shoulder that. In this case, I feel that anger or righteous indignation is the more productive emotion. I can vote, contribute to organizations working toward my values, and teach my children to do the same.
3) work on not judging others and make lots of friends. We’re all doing our best and my best may be different from your best. When we encourage each other as often as possible, I hope we can reduce each other’s anxiety and be a stronger force for good. A bunch of autonomous, anxious, worried moms is easy to ignore, write off, and abuse. A strong, righteously angry community is a force that can make change happen.