liabobia

Try practicing authoritative parenting with a stoic approach. Keep your presentation completely calm and respond to bad behavior with real, immediate consequences every time. It might go something like this: kiddo throws food on the floor, parent’s face immediately goes neutral, kiddo gets picked up and placed in timeout, parent says “you are in timeout because you threw food.” and nothing else. Repeat as many times as necessary but never, ever skip the consequence phase. A lot of parents I’ve seen try this method but give warnings or chances. Problem is really little kids don’t understand stacked information like that; they understand “if-then” but not “if this and that or that, then”. Also, it should go without saying, but authoritarian parenting is also not effective – the reason kiddo is in timeout should never be “because I said so and what I say goes”, they aren’t mind readers and will just be afraid of parents who do that often.

Yes, you should have a baby. I spent years working in elder care services. The greatest regret, bar none, of any end-of-life person who hadn’t had children was not having children. I didn’t have many patients who had children, because I worked with people who were dying alone and people with kids weren’t in that situation. I had a few clients who had, sadly, outlived their children, and the only thing they regretted was not having more time with them.

It’s easy for parents to seem depressed around a bunch of childless friends – who wouldn’t be awkward around people who might not want to hear about your most important life events? Who doesn’t feel a bit uncool being unable to get drunk or stay up late or go out on weekends? But the reality is, having kids is worth so much more than any of that, and nothing feels better than having a happy, healthy child of your own. The main feeling I have for many of my friends now is sadness that I can’t somehow give them the feelings I get to have every time I see my baby or hear her laugh.

Also it’s really not hard to keep doing most of what you do with a baby. Some safe containment is needed, but I bring my baby camping, to parties, conventions, the gym, and if I want to be out late I just arrange it with her dad. I don’t have any family support, daycare, or a sitter, and it’s still easy as pie.