MadsPer

I just answer in a normal natural tone “yes/no/no need/I don’t think so/she’s ok like this”, most people just want what’s best, even if they are maybe being judgemental in some way.

When it’s something deeper like questioning our lifestyle (which happens now and then since for example we’re vegan), I eventually say that when they are well informed about the subject and want to really discuss it, I’m available, until then I’m not engaging because their arguments do not make sense to me since I studied it deeply (which I did!) and they just want to impose their opinion, not learn why we decided to do it like we do.

That’s exactly it!! The issue I believe is that at least some of the things you mentioned will always happen, even if you are aware of them beforehand and discussed them with your partner.