Rory’s mum

I recently heard the phrase, “I don’t want to put down the baby, I want to put down the patriarchy”. This is exactly how I feel. I just want time with my kids with none of the other responsibilities of being an adult or parent.
I enjoy them so much more when I meet them in their world instead of trying to drag them around while I’m adulting.

Are we allowed to post links? My best friend sent me this video for Mother’s Day. What you feel is very common. https://www.facebook.com/reel/1767482150445318?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

Something that a maternal health nurse told me with my first is that a hungry baby won’t sleep.
If you can settle them and they sleep for an hour or more sleep training is the way to go.
If they won’t settle or wake back up in 15 minutes or less they were too hungry to sleep and need to be fed.
If it is between 15 and 60
Minutes it is a grey zone, so good luck.
Also as so many other have indicated, you have to lead through daytime food. A baby who is getting enough food during the day should start to sleep longer hours at night.
But… they all have their own rhythms.

I agree with everyone. Just wanted to add that my daughter has been eating 18oz a day at childcare since she started at 3 months. On my most recent lactation visit, they said that she might even need a bit more! So listen to your baby 😉

I am I the same place. However, a friend said to me this is why you have 3 kids. So you can’t be on top of everything. It gives your kids independence and self reliance which is a good thing. (Not that you can’t do that with a different number, I just deal better with the 3 kid dynamic)
I find myself saying to friends, “I’m sorry I don’t have more to say. I’m just really enjoying being here with you right now.” And it works even with my best friend who has no kids.
We will both get there in time. Right now try to enjoy the chaos and know that you are valuable in all of your roles.

Now I know your child is a bit young for this and you want to protect them but…
This was my grandparents, I remember one specific afternoon when I had an overnight visit with them. I had all the treats and television I wanted. I realised that what I was doing didn’t make my body feel good and I needed to make a change. Firstly, I felt sad that my grandparents had just let me watch a full day of TV without really engaging with me. Then I found something else to do that did make me feel good.
I, the child, took control of the situation and moderated the amount of treats and television I had for the remainder of the visit.
So my advice is don’t sweat it too much it is a life lesson that will workout in the end.

I completely agree with framing it as “these are the rules in this house”.

Also parenting is hard and exhausting. Maybe your friend is just tired and since you haven’t raised the issue assumes that the behaviour is ok. I know that I am a much more diligent parent in some houses than I am in others, based on the hosts expectations.
Also, if you are feeling this way about the interaction, others probably are too. We had a friend with a badly behaved dog that scared all the kids, except for hers. She would just brush it off and say it was my kid not her dog…until other people stopped coming over or left early because of the dog. Now they take the issue seriously and either keep the dog outside or at the grandparents for group catch-ups

I had 2 “economics of points” systems growing up one in 3rd grade and one in 7th grade. They were both fantastically implemented. You didn’t need points for any normal classroom activity but you could use your currency at the class shop that ran on a periodic basis. In grade 3 the teacher created the items to purchase. In the older class students were responsible for selling items in the store. It had the benefit of teaching basic financial skills. I think that the 7th grade class even took out takes and had a bank where you could earn interest.
I found that these two programs enhanced my learning and they were very popular among all the students.
For me the thing that I find ruins my intrinsic motivation is tests.