Maddie

I had a second trimester loss. For me, the worst part was, after having announced we were pregnant, having to announce we weren’t anymore. Particularly with close family. I did not want to grieve publicly or be responsible for guiding others through how to feel about it. I didn’t want adults crying around me and scaring and confusing my other kids. My sister stepped in as kind of head of communications- so the family member who really wanted to have a good cry about it was directed to her. She took our kids for a night so we could process without worrying about how our tears might be perceived by them. And then a thing she and I have developed is when we know the other is in a hard spot, we ask, “How are you doing?” This makes space to talk about it if you want. Or not if you don’t want.