Bubbe

Wow! What an incredible insightful child and parent! Congratulations on your sensitivity and ability to honor your child’s feelings!

I am a grandmother of two. My heart aches for you and your situation also makes me angry. I agree that your spouse needs to be an equal part of any boundary setting conversation. Otherwise you risk MIL thinking the very legitimate concerns you have are only yours. What was your spouse’s experience growing up? Is there a way to talk with MIL about VALUES, recent research (“we know more now than we did when you raised your kids”)…? Respectfully, your MIL sounds selfish and self-centered. Why wouldn’t she WANT to do what her offspring WANT her to do with her grandchild? Could you ask her that? He is YOUR child. Your job is “to love and keep him safe” (a phrase I learned from my daughter & son-in-law). Have tou sought some counseling for guidance about this, perhaps from the kindergarten director or a trusted religious leader? Finally, I would not describe this MIL as overindulgent: she is harmful. Sending you prayers for strength.