Polythene Pam

Oh this is so good. Thank you for this comment.

I’m late to the discussion but just want to add: I feel you on this. In our case, it’s a sibling who fails to parent their children, who are destructive in our home.

Some of the kids have grown out of the toddler-destructo phase, and it has gotten better. Honestly, the only coping we could manage gracefully was to limit how often we hosted that sibling because we had irreconcilable parenting approaches that were exaggerated in the younger years.

But I wanted to message specifically because even if it’s “just stuff” or “the cost of hosting,” it really sucks to watch a kid (a niece or nephew in my case) hulk smash your air purifier, break it, and their parent have no reaction whatsoever. I’m with you, Uncomfortable Host.

I also try to remember that a lot of people have a vested interest in making me feel like a bad mom so they can sell me their alternative to [X].