Burgh NP

For school age kids: Mr. and Ms. Potato Heads! Bake potatoes, have cut up things on hand to decorate them with toothpicks: any sort of veggies, cheese, really anything cut into shapes that they can make eyes, nose, mouth, bodies.

Good for you – writing in about the developmental concern to let the “village” chime in! The whole premise behind early intervention is that the earlier you intervene, the better the outcome. You can simultaneously schedule a hearing test, ask your pediatrician for a lead test, and get going on early intervention. The early intervention therapist will teach you how to work with your child on communication, which may involve sign language, spoken words, and/or a communication board of some kind (don’t fall for teaching her to sign “more” before she learns how to sign nouns – because “more” will become a crutch for whatever she wants and will delay learning other signs or words, “more” is an adjective and the natural progression for language is to learn nouns first). This is well worth the investment of time and effort, because communication is key to every other aspect of behavior. You got this!

Thanks for bringing this up, Emily. I would say that all of this really begs the question of why we have such disparity among schools and school districts in the first place. If we look at our policies, we can find many practices that contribute to disparity and segregation. Just try to put low income housing into high income suburbs, for example, and you will see all kinds of opposition (sometimes about parking or other such things, but we all know what it is really about). Just try to increase density in areas with single family homes to try to increase home affordability (there are just a few areas doing this now). Just try to change the funding formula so that schools rely less on local real estate taxes and more on a centralized funding source, thereby spreading the funding to lower income districts. Just try to change the way that charter schools are funded right now, taking dollars away from public schools, and in some areas religious schools can take these dollars too. Just try to change the way that teachers and administrators with experience (and therefore, seniority to place transfer requests) are assigned to schools in larger districts. Just try to change the schedule to allow for parental involvement among working parents, or have effective ways to reach parents intimidated by the school system. How about the concentration of non-profit property, exempt from taxes, concentrated in the urban core of our mid-sized cities? How about the plummet in real estate assessments of our downtown properties as people work from home? And, perhaps most importantly, how do we support the stimulation and education of children from infancy on? How do we address the “word gap”, the hours spent in front of screens, and the lack of interactive play that some young children experience to the detriment of their later education? For those of the commenters here who were able to take AP and advanced courses in low-ranked schools, we should look to your districts as examples of how this was accomplished, because in too many districts it is not even possible to do this. Just saying, people, if you care about children and education, advocacy and a shift in thinking to the entirety of the problem and solutions, is sorely needed!

Thank you for sharing this valuable insight and kudos on all of your accomplishments!

Don’t worry! You are not failing! Some kids just hate that spoon coming at their faces. I say give it a break and try again in 2 or 3 weeks. It’s almost time to develop the pincer grasp for self feeding anyway, and your baby may just skip the feeding with a spoon and go straight to self feeding, which is fine. And – it’s fine for babies to “play” with food- it gets them used to it. Of course, we get to clean up the mess, but that’s ok!

Feel ya! Does your baby have good head control and act interested when you eat? If so, you can introduce baby food purées now with an early introduction of iron rich foods. One food at a time, baby cereal mixed with breast milk, then other baby foods one at a time and try to focus on iron (if your family eats meat, then you can introduce puréed meat early.) You can start with an early evening meal to try to get your baby through the night. Really, it’s ok!

You are truly an inspiration! May you continue to effect change in a system that needs it, desperately! Thank you so much for your activism and also for sharing your story.

Of course, I meant watching a construction site safely behind the construction fence – not getting into an unsafe situation!

This may seem counter-intuitive, but inviting another four year old over will make your job easier! Just provide the children with some basics (toys, art materials), and let the pretend play begin! You will love eavesdropping on their conversations! A two hour time frame is about right. And, no screens while another child is there – the object is to play! Another two year old will play alongside your two year old, and there may be toy-grabbing involved, so the parent of that two year old is better off coming along, but this will provide some adult company for you so that is essential too.
As an NP (and a mom of four grownups and a grandma), I often ask parents, “Have you had the opportunity to see your child play with another child of approximately the same age?” I am absolutely shocked at how many parents have not had this opportunity! For some reason, many children these days are only playing with differently-aged siblings or cousins. Please allow your child to develop the needed skill of child-directed play with another similarly aged child – it will pay off hugely in the long run AND will make your life easier! Children learn from relationships!
I also agree with all of those who have their children “help” with errands and household chores. With a lot of encouragement and positive reinforcement, they learn to be great contributors to the family. Plus, things that seem ordinary to you (the grocery store, a construction site, the post office) are huge learning opportunities for kids.
And, of course, outdoor play and exercise are also key, so thanks to all of the posters on that front!
Ordinary household discards can become art materials.
Places of worship may have kids’ services or activities.
You can start a play group, meetup group or neighborhood group with other families if it does not already exist for you.
Good luck – you can do this!!!

Thanks for this about vitamins! To clarify, if you are planning more pregnancies, shouldn’t you continue to supplement Folic Acid after birth to keep the stores high for next time?

I agree, although there is no question in my mind that positive behavioral incentive programs work, especially when specific behaviors like kind deeds, listening the first time, showing respect, good ideas, performing well in fire drills, including other children in play, using a kind and respectful tone of voice, etc. are rewarded (not just “being good”) AND the rewards are broken down into smaller time frames or deeds (so that a child doesn’t have to have perfect behavior for the whole day; some children need this to be broken down by the hour). So, ideas for rewards that are not food or plastic crap:
Child gets to take off shoes
Child gets to sit on the floor
Class gets five extra minutes of recess
Class gets to dance to a song with a positive message (like RESPECT)
Child gets to take home an accolade from the teacher
Class gets to shout three cheers
Class gets to do a special project that itself is a learning activity
Children or class get points (that don’t add up to any reward other than points)
The list goes on, but most of these ideas don’t cost money, don’t contribute to poor eating, and don’t involve wasteful consumerism

You sound like such a great grandma! I know that this is coming from a place of love and concern, and you want that love and concern to come through to your kids, without an iota of criticism. With that in mind, I think that it would be good to wait until your kids bring this (or any) problem up, and then just ask questions! What do they think the problem is? What have they thought about that might help? What have they read or heard? Do they have any friends who are going through the same thing? Is there any way that you can help? This might just help them sort through their thoughts on this and problem-solve on their own within the parameters of their own beliefs and values, which is the ultimate tribute to your relationship!