stephanie

I was in your position at 38 except that my husband really wanted kids. I had twins at 39 and I don’t regret it. A lot of people at 38 are heavily invested in their careers, which I was not. Trying to keep that up and be a mom might be draining some people you see. When I had twins I was expecting some kind of emotional epiphany that didn’t occur. I was expecting to ‘fall’ in love. At a certain point babies don’t even smile, and for me it was hard to relate. But now I have these happy little toddlers whom I miss greatly when we’re apart. I do feel like there is more love in my life now even if there is less time for the internet. But, one thing that pregnancy taught me is that everyone is different. You might have a different before and a different after than me. But I do think that change leads to growth. If you do have kids you will have a totally different perspective on the world, for better or worse.

Talk to the parent in a friendly and lighthearted way when you catch them alone. Don’t talk to the group, that’s likely to make things into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Be direct.