Stephanie

I’m thinking about the idea of “active duty” moms and “veteran” moms. I have two young kids and I am so grateful that my mom has been willing to travel to me and/or defer to what I’d like to do since becoming a mom myself.

I had never considered this perspective and I am so glad you shared it. Thank you!

As a SAHM thank you, it is joyful AND tough.

Also want to note that being a working mom is also tough (and joyful) too.

Hoping for more mama unity on Mother’s Day.

Win: my 2.5 year old is happily brushing his teeth twice daily. A few months ago it felt like we would never get past the feeling it was a mountain to climb everyday.
Woe: the same kiddo seems to have picked up some violent vocabulary “slash” and “slay” among them. He doesn’t hurt others, but I don’t like these word choices. He has fun playing with older kids. I think this is where he’s learning some good things but also this.

I love this!! Thank you for providing the structure.

I crave routine, and also have a 2 and 4 year old. On a non-routine day I will do our morning routine (we always brush our teeth, and usually get dressed, before beginning the rest of the day – they watch a little TV while I get breakfast together.) During their TV time, I schedule the day – starting with non-negotiatables (we will eat 3 meals and snack, we may have HW or chores to do, we need a bath today etc.). And then I fill in the rest – open play in the basement, outside play, – maybe a trip to the library or grocery. Sometimes I’ll involve my kids in making the plan but mostly I think they crave the same reassurance of structure. And I tell them the plan in simple terms (breakfast, play, snack, library, lunch, play, bath, etc.) for my four-year-old I write in some timestamps, and I’m trying to teach her how to read the clock. Having just a very simple structure makes the day a lot more manageable for me and them.

I might pass the mic (so to speak) to my kid. If I see my kid upset by their toy broken, I might help them find the words that I’m struggling to find. Saying to my kid, “you didn’t like it when X broke your toy. Let’s go talk to them. You can tell them that it makes you sad when your toys are broken and that you hope they will treat them better next time.“ maybe even adding, “It’s not fun to play with someone who breaks the toys all the time and doesn’t say sorry or try to make it right.”

I also echo the sentiments about parenting other kids (especially in your own home) the way you would parent your own. If it’s a friend’s kid, I would talk to them as I would my own if they broke something at my house.

It really is a challenging question. But I think by navigating it and trying to approach it head on, you model for your own kids how to stand up for themselves. Good luck!