I Dropped My Baby. What Should I Do?

I am a second-time mom to a beautiful eight-week-old baby. A few days ago, I took her to a doctor’s appointment and nursed her in the carrier while waiting, which I often do and did with her older sister. I took my hand off her for two seconds to prepare a bottle, and in the most horrifying moment of my life, she fell sideways out of the carrier and hit the hardwood floor with a sickening thud that I will never get over. I didn’t see her fall due to my mask being in the way, only felt her weight shift suddenly and then saw her on the floor. I immediately scooped her up and screamed for help, she cried right away, and I was able to console and nurse her within a few minutes. She had a large bump on the side of her head but miraculously suffered no skull fracture or broken bones (confirmed by pediatrician and x-rays) and seemingly no neurological effects (pediatrician did not think a CT scan was warranted and wanted to avoid radiation exposure). In the days since, she seemed a bit fussy (probably due to some pain), but the swelling was gone in a day. Besides reliving this nightmare every few minutes and anticipating never forgiving myself for it, what potential impact does a fall like this have on a child? Everyone I’ve told (very few people, due to shame and disbelief) assures me that babies are resilient, but I can’t help but think there will be consequences. I am so sick over this and looking for any information you have. —Terrified Mama First: please, please forgive yourself. I know — from a similar personal experience — that it is very, very hard to do that. But please know that this could happen to absolutely anyone (and I hope the comments will tell you how much that is true), and in no way does it speak to your love for your child or your fitness as a parent. Minor blunt head trauma, which is what this would be technically called, is common in infants and children. The primary concern with this kind of head trauma is that it would result in clinically important traumatic brain injury, similar to what you would see with a concussion. This is scary, but also extremely rare — overall, only about 1% of head traumas have this outcome. This is even more the case with the situation you describe. The fact that there was no loss of consciousness, that she nursed quickly after, that she had no skull fracture — these are all really good signs. When evaluating infants in this case, that’s what your doctor would be looking for, and the low risk is why they didn’t push for a CT scan. Finally, when evaluating infants and children after a fall, the focus is on the short term — the first several hours or day. The fact that she is recovering well is also a strong, strong indicator that everything is fine. Big hugs to you, mom.

I Dropped My Baby. What Should I Do?

Q&A on guilt and fear

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