Emily Oster

2 min Read Emily Oster

Emily Oster

How Can I Handle a Long-Distance Move with a Toddler?

Q&A on maintaining sanity

Emily Oster

2 min Read

Do you have any advice for how to handle a long-distance move with a toddler? Specifically, how to make it easier for them. (We will have wine for ourselves.) Thank you!

—Mikayla

I did this with a toddler! You’ve taken my first advice, with the wine, so I’ll move on to something more helpful. I will mention here that we’re in the realm of “personally informed advice” rather than data, and some of this will depend on your kid. But a few thoughts:

Do not tell them too far in advance. Little kids have a weird concept of time, so they definitely do not need months of warning.

Like all possibly hard conversations (see this post), you probably want to start as simple as possible, not overexplain, and then answer questions later. But when you start, make sure they understand that their stuff/family/pets are coming with them.

If there is any way to, for example, set up their new room at the new location before they get there, try to do it. That way, they are coming into something familiar.

This is my most important advice: try not to make a big deal about it. You, as an adult, have significant feelings about moving. It’s natural to think your toddler must also. But they might well just not. I agonized over the impact of moving on my 3-year-old, and she actually had the easiest time of us all. Your kid might have a hard time, but do not assume they will!

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