What's the Right Portion Size for Toddler Meals?

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My toddler eats three bites and declares she’s “all done,” but then asks for snacks 10 minutes later. I have no idea if I’m serving too much, too little, or if this is just normal toddler behavior. How do I know what the right portion size actually is for meals at this age?

—Constantly Second-Guessing Mealtime

This is an extremely relatable question.

Toddlers and young children, in general, are usually intuitive eaters. They eat when they are hungry, and not when they aren’t. Toddlers also tend to need to eat less and are more picky than babies. Parents often worry that their child is just not eating enough overall, but as long as your child is maintaining their growth curve and gaining weight, their eating is usually not a concern.

However, toddlers are also extremely good at testing boundaries, and they form habits very fast. It is very normal toddler behavior to have three bites of dinner and then ask for snacks later, assuming that said toddler enjoys snacks more than dinner. Many parents (to be clear, this might not be you!) worry after a small dinner that their child needs the snacks, and then the child learns this is a good way to get snacks, and so on.

How do you get out of this? First, decide if you want to. If the current situation is working for you, that’s probably fine, especially if the snacks are on the relatively healthy side. If you do want to move things towards a more dinner-focused experience, you may need to live with a short period of re-forming habits. Specifically, you may need to cut out the snacks after (and maybe before) dinner.

The downside of toddlers is that they learn bad habits fast, but the upside is that they learn good ones fast, too. If you make clear that the boundaries are strict and stick to them, you can likely move to a situation with less snack-asking. You may not get more eating, since your child may not actually need more food, but you will at least feel more confident about it.