In the past 25 years, there’s been a dramatic increase in single people choosing to become solo parents — that is, choosing to have or parent a child without a partner. This trend is expected to continue as more people choose to start a family after age 35.

If you’re considering a path toward solo parenthood, chances are you have many questions. Where do you start? How will you choose a sperm or egg donor? How much will it cost? And how can you set your life up so you can thrive through the unique joys and challenges?

This article is a starting place to answer these questions and more.

What are your options?

There’s a lot of information to sort through when deciding to become a solo parent by choice. Your options hinge on many factors, including:

Your age: for most people, fertility declines with age, so your age will inform recommendations around fertility treatments
Your choice of donor: whether you choose an unidentified (anonymous) or a directed (known) donor will inform your path forward
Your preferences for how much medical intervention you want along this process
Your budget and/or insurance coverage

Most solo parents by choice with uteruses start their conception process by choosing a sperm donor and doing IUI (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (in vitro fertilization). Some also begin with at-home insemination, especially if they’ve chosen a directed donor and want to lower the amount of medical intervention.

Setting up a visit with your primary care doctor to get some basic fertility tests done is a good place to begin. Once you have a sense of your baseline fertility, that will inform your decisions moving forward.

How much does it cost?

The average vial of sperm in the U.S. costs between $1,000 and $2,000, depending on the sperm bank. Typically, IUIs cost several thousand dollars depending on location, insurance coverage, provider, and whether or not medications are used. An IVF cycle costs tens of thousands of dollars, with huge ranges depending on medications and number of retrievals needed, as well as whether or not donor eggs are used.

Luckily, as of 2025, more states are mandating that insurance covers infertility treatments, and prospective solo parents qualify for these treatments due to their relationship status. You may also find a nonprofit that offers financial assistance.

How do you choose a donor?

There’s a lot to dive into when it comes to how to choose your donor, including health, medical, and genetic decisions, as well as emotional and relational complexities for yourself and your future child. I’ve created a two-part guide to help you through that process.

There are also some unique considerations for solo parents by choice, namely that the decision falls solely on your shoulders and there is no partner to mirror in your donor choice. Many people choose a donor with shared ancestry. In these cases, getting the same genetic carrier screen as your prospective donor can be helpful in reducing the risk of choosing a donor with incompatible genetic traits.

I recommend to my prospective solo parent clients that they use the buddy system when going down the donor rabbit hole — find one trusted friend or family member to help throughout this process. Make sure they know that they are supporting you in choosing a donor, and not adding their own opinions and criteria unless that is something you explicitly ask for.

What is the impact on kids?

Recent studies have looked at whether children of solo parents by choice experience any negative impacts, such as increased behavioral problems or less closeness in the maternal-child relationship. This research looks only at solo parents by choice, which makes it different from other studies that have looked at single-parent households due to divorce or unplanned pregnancies.

In one study, looking at 51 solo-mother families, researchers found no difference in the well-being of children in solo-parent versus multi-parent households. In fact, the research pointed to slightly less conflict between mothers and children in solo-parent households. The same researchers followed the families through middle school, and again, there was no difference in overall well-being between children in solo-parent or two-parent households.

Not surprisingly, children who grow up in households led by a solo parent by choice are generally well-adjusted and well-loved.

How do you get enough support?

Setting up support systems is helpful for all prospective parents, no matter their relationship status. However, as a prospective solo parent, it is an essential part of this family building process. Support can look like joining an online support group, gathering a small group of friends and family around you for practical and emotional support, or getting connected to a spiritual practice.

There’s research that shows that having adequate support, particularly in the postpartum period, is one of the main markers of mental health in early parenthood. This study looked at people giving birth during the COVID-19 pandemic and showed that even in cases of low practical support, receiving adequate emotional support was protective against things like severe postpartum depression and impaired bonding with the newborn.

I recommend identifying three layers of support early on. The first is your closest circle — one to three people who can be with you in your most vulnerable state. This may be a person who is present during fertility treatments, birth, postpartum, or who you can call at 2 in the morning for any reason. You may also consider hiring a birth and/or postpartum doula for extra support in the early days, which is strongly supported by research.

The second layer consists of people you feel supported by — two to five people whom you trust, but maybe don’t want to be naked around. These can be people who make you food or clean your home in the first couple of weeks postpartum, who can come with you to routine doctor’s appointments, or who accompany you as backup if your inner layer of support person isn’t available.

Finally, the outer layer of support are people who can help you with logistical tasks — two to 10 people who can do things like walk your dog, do your dishes, or drop off food when you are healing or just too exhausted to cook.

Different people may be more adept at supporting you during your trying-to-conceive process than after the baby is born, and that is okay. Diversify your support systems where you can. There can be paid support (doulas, therapists, etc.) or unpaid (family, friends), and in-person and virtual support systems. Spend time identifying the resources that work best for you.

The bottom line

As a solo parent by choice, understanding your conception options can take time, and getting a basic fertility workup can be a good place to begin.
Studies show no difference in the overall well-being of children of solo parents by choice.
When setting up your support system, consider thinking of three layers of support, and differentiating between paid and unpaid support systems.