alexfi24

Go us. I wouldn’t change a thing about my journey. And LOVE meeting other SMCs because there is so much shared love and respect. You’re rocking it, mama!

Hahaha! I’m 42… so I’m glad I’ve accumulated at least a bit of wisdom over the last 4 decades. 😅😅

Hey there. This is my first time commenting here but it’s because I feel really strongly about this question! Ultimately, you’ll feel into what’s right for you. But let me share one perspective.

I have a 19-month old and am a solo mom by choice. (That means I did not have a partner at the time of conception and used a donor to have my daughter.) I 10/10 recommend becoming a parent and most people think that the way I’ve decided to do this is “more difficult” than a two-parent household.

Potentially unpopular opinion: I find parenting and having a child relatively easy compared to other things in life like owning a home that needs attention or having a demanding job.

What I recommend you look at and ask yourself is: for your friends who have kids and are unhappy, is it really the child that has caused the unhappiness? Or is it things around having the child? For example, I have friends in two-parent householders who are unhappy but it has to do with things like different parenting styles or one parent feeling like they carry more of a load than the other parent or a parent feeling neglected by their partner or one parent feeling resentful of the other parent being able to go to a job and take a break from full-time parenting or a slew of other things. My point is, the parents might feel, deep down, very fulfilled by having their child and parenting but that some of the logistical pieces or partner dynamics are causing some resentment or unhappiness. I would examine, with your partner, what your dynamic will be like, how you can both get what you need out of parenting and adding a third human into your life, how you can disagree and handle tough moments, etc. How you navigate all of that might be part of the answer to how happy you will be when your lifestyle and family dynamic changes.

I can tell you that I absolutely love spending my Saturday mornings at music class with my kiddo. Do I miss sleeping in some weekends and just going to the gym or for a hike? Sure. But nothing compares the joy I feel inside when I watch my daughter dance in music class. 10/10 recommend having a kid while having open eyes with the changes it will bring. And seeing your dog love on your baby? PRICELESS. 💜