amanda27

Solidarity with anyone between 18-24 (30?) months right now! My 21mo kiddo is sweet and silly 90% of the time, but those irrational meltdowns are so hard. She got SO MAD when I turned on the toaster oven (the nerve!) and would not let her play with batteries or eat balloons. But the idea that I’d be “disciplining” her seems crazy. She only says about 10 words (we do a lot of signs) and does not understand much about safety. I do a lot of validating, remaining present, and then redirecting. If it helps anyone, the way I think about it is that getting her to stop crying or tantruming immediately is not the goal. Kids tantrum because they are having a hard time. As a therapist, please think of your kid as struggling, not “being bad.” Keeping her safe and me staying calm is the goal.

We also do a lot of the “say the thing you want them to do” like “walk please” instead of “don’t run” or “food stays on the tray” instead of “don’t throw food” but it honestly doesn’t do much. I feel like maybe it won’t until at least 24 months?

It’s a great book, but I do want to point out for anyone considering getting it that it won’t help much for 18-24month olds. A lot of it – things like collaborating with the kid on problem-solving – feels more appropriate for 3yo+.