AFrey

I have debated for 4 days whether to reply to this because I don’t want my response to feel like a “sell.” I think it’s a bad idea to twist someone’s arm to have a kid. You do you. But I could relate to your question, so wanted to share my experience.
I am one of those people who always assumed/knew I wanted kids. But when it came down to actually making the decision to go for it (age 34 for me), I felt nervous and anxious about it. I loved my life as it was and was thriving: my husband, my career (I work a lot and love my job), my hobbies, my social life. I didn’t feel that something was missing and I don’t agree that having kids is the purpose/meaning of life. We didn’t even have a pet (or anything living in our house for that matter!) because we didn’t want to make lifestyle tradeoffs to accommodate another living thing. I was nervous that I would have a baby and suddenly resent it because of how it changed my life, my priorities, my identity.
We went ahead anyway, and now my son is the single greatest source of joy in my life. I still have my career, my hobbies, my social life, but I have re-balanced them all (in material ways) to raise a child, and it feels great. We’re going for more 🙂 Some things are objectively worse: traveling on an airplane; overall much less scope for spontaneity. But for the most part I feel like a new part of my identity that I didn’t even know existed has unfolded. And I love it. I’ve also realized that I’m capable of more love than I knew I had in me. And I like that too.