Mavis

This was me. At 35, we decided that if it was “easy” for us we would go for it, and got pregnant on the first try. I am genuinely happy we ending up having a child, but I can say we would have had an *equally* fulfilling life had we made the decision not to. Our child is additive to our lives, but I do not feel like I have never experienced love before this. I also did not feel the immense shift in identity that many describe.

All this to say, there are no wrong decisions here. I wish someone had told me this when I was pregnant and thought my life was over. The people who complain about parenting are the people you’ll hear the loudest. And as previous posters have said, if you’re used to juggling challenges, parenting could very well feel like a breeze.

It is worth mentioning that I have a relatively “easy” kid, and every child is a bit of a gamble. Having one child feels like the best fit for us to keep our lives and identity in tact without feeling overtaken by children. I feel that the only child path is a bit of a cheat code no one really talks about.