tvdoctor

In your newsletter, you say, “Our hope is that it can be a starting point for normalizing discussions about these topics…” That feels off to me. It neglects the scores of parents who create and manage safe and supportive spaces for folks who’ve had miscarriages (like r/PregnancyAfterLoss). After my D&C, they sent me home with a giant packet of resources full of groups available to me.

For every person who mentions to me, “people don’t talk about miscarriage,” there are 3-4 others who barely need a cue to start talking about their experience with miscarriage. That’s “anecdata,” sure, but at this point, I think *people do* talk about miscarriage, but talking about it won’t prepare anyone for when it happens. Like any matter of grief. I knew when first trying to get pregnant that miscarriage is a real possibility. Almost every parent in my life had some experience with it. What they didn’t talk about? The decisions and the costs.

I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks, and immediately after finding out the news, I had to make very important physical and financial decisions. Pill or D&C? Question: How much does a typical miscarriage cost? It’s rotted, but I have to think like that because my out-of-pocket American insurance sucks.

And then the physical cost. It turns out, my body doesn’t respond to miscarriages well. I had/have raging chronic migraines and stopped ovulating consistently. I needed femara and a whole year just to see another positive pregnancy test. Question: What does recovery look like for different people and different miscarriage types?

I’d love to read about this on your site or in your book, which I’ll be picking up soon because I find myself in conversations about miscarriage *a lot.*