Rose2991

I haven’t read every single comment here but I’ve read most, and I haven’t seen anyone admit to ever regretting having kids. So I guess I will go ahead and say that while I don’t big-picture regret it (if a genie appeared right now and gave me the option to never have had them, I wouldn’t take it), I definitely have moments of feeling so exhausted and anxious and overwhelmed that I fantasize about how much easier it would be if I’d stayed child-free. I think it’s really important to think about your own temperament and realize that’s unlikely to actually change too much with kids. I’m a person who gets a lot of fulfillment from my work, and I like to work a lot. My husband and I both assumed that would change once we had kids. It hasn’t. My husband needs a lot of rest and time to himself. I don’t think either of us particularly thought through what that would mean once we had kids. It’s been incredibly difficult. I love my kids so fiercely and I wouldn’t give them up for anything. But I wish I’d considered more the reality of how the people my husband and I are would make integrating children into our lives really really hard. I think it’s worth it to consider WHY you love your life now, and how integral the things you love about your life are to your happiness, and how adaptable those elements of t who you are now will be if you bring a kid into the mix. But also my kids are 8 and 5 and my daughter is really struggling with anxiety right now, and I can see a future in which we get through this period and they’re adults and I can spend time with these incredible humans without them NEEDING me so much, and I’m comforted by the idea that I’m playing the long game here.