Emma J

Also, I will add, because you are the MIL, I would start with your son, no matter how good your relationship is with your DIL, I think your son needs to bring it to her that you want to help, NOT offer advice or tell her how to parent. They get to tell you what to do, and you can offer actions you are willing to do (not just advice). I also assumed local, but if you are not – you could still do the research portion. You could help them get a night nanny or babysitter (help screen candidates etc.) Actions! Not just words.

I am mom to 3. I would recommend you start a conversation from a place of love and support. “I see you guys struggling with sleep. I’m worried about you all, how can I help?” “Can I do some research on options and summarize them for you if it’s overwhelming to pick? Do you have something you want to try? I can come over to help during the evenings/nights/early morning if that’s the hard part.” As much as possible, I would leave the decision making in their hands, but offer actual things you are able and willing to do to help. And if they decline and don’t actually want to make changes, in the meantime, offer to baby-sit often and tell them to go take a nap (take baby out of the house for a long walk, to the playground so it’s quiet for them etc). They will appreciate it.