oaktowneva

I’m a brand new queer solo parent who always envisioned having a baby with a partner. At 40, after freezing my eggs a few years prior, I decided to think about it doing it solo. At 41, I promised myself I would start to move forward, even if I felt ambivalent about having a kid. I, like you LOVED my life — the time to do ceramics, play ball, travel, and continue to build connections with my chosen family and community. I was anxious and ambivalent even after I got pregnant with my one-chance ‘normal’ embryo. I was terrified of losing all the things that I love about life, including my freedom, especially as a solo parent. I had promised myself I would move forward and here I was, pregnant. At 43, I had my kid.

Well, my babe is now four months. I find myself MORE at ease as a person, continuing to cultivate the relationships that I have in my life, and doing the things that I love. It’s just now she joins me. We just took a 7-day road trip to Joshua Tree and eastern sierra, and getting to show her the places that I love — brought even greater depth and richness to them. I fully believe in the ethos that your kid becomes a PART of your life (a big one, of course), and that they accompany you through life (and you through theirs). I might have gotten lucky with a super adaptable, chill, happy baby, but I also am committed to letting myself to thrive as a person, so I can also as a parent. Grateful for my community that have supported this journey, and grateful that ‘parent’ is a new part of my identity, it is not my ONLY identity.